Board Thread:Season Rankings/@comment-24899664-20141222121159/@comment-26485526-20170409184152

I've been thinking about this a lot lately and I just figured that I'd share my rankings with you guys as well. Over time, I've been giving people general rankings of the seasons without putting too much thought into it. So this time, I am putting a lot of thought into what I actually think of each season overall and how I would rank them. Some seasons have bounced around quite a bit, while some have stayed pretty consistent. Much like some people here, I also tend to value entertainment over strategy. Although I do like good, smart game-play, if a season is filled with boring game-bots, then it won't rank very high. So without further ado, let's begin.

33) One World - An incredibly mean-spirited season filled with immature high school drama on both tribes. Colton and Alicia were two of the worst people they ever could have cast on that season, and the fact that they both rose to power as quickly as they did was a real turn off for me. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind drama in and of itself, and I do believe that the term “bullying” is thrown around too much nowadays. However, Colton’s and Alicia’s behaviour towards Christina and Bill was just uncalled for on some occasions, especially when after the two of them successfully blindsided Monica, they told Christina “enjoy your last few days, quit, or jump in the fire.” I’ve seen some pretty terrible things said on the show, but implying that it wouldn’t matter if someone killed themselves really crossed the line and did strike a nerve with me (for reasons in which this is not the place to discuss). Beyond that, the way Bill was eliminated is one of the most disgusting things to happen in the show’s history. This is considering Colton’s racist comments towards Bill and the fact that he convinced his tribe to give up immunity to support his racist agenda. I get not wanting to ruffle feathers, but the fact that nobody really spoke against Colton and just went along with his stupid decision to GIVE UP IMMUNITY left a massive sour taste in my mouth.

All that being said, the behaviour of two characters this season is not the only reason this season is the worst ever in my opinion, and will likely remain my least favourite season for a long, long time. There were other characters this season that I simply grew to utterly despise, namely Tarzan and Troyzan. Tarzan was good for a bit of a chuckle at the beginning of the season, but by the end, his jokes grew really stale and it was to the point where I cringed almost every time he came on the screen. Troyzan’s arrogance also became more and more apparent the longer he lasted, and that really got on my nerves as well. As soon as Troyzan got put in the minority and the girls started coming after him, he came off to me as arrogant, whiny, and entitled, (“This is MY island, you can’t beat me!”), especially considering that Troyzan’s decision to blindside Mike was the root cause of why he was put in the minority in the first place! Beyond that though, it seemed like the editing really focused on Kim and the characters that I really grew to hate (all were mentioned already). There was very little that was positive about this season, and for me, it’s the first and so far, only season that actually became a chore to watch.

Finally, even though Kim did play a phenomenal game, the way they edited the season anyway made each episode extremely boring and predictable seeing that Kim was obviously dominating. So, while I respect and appreciate the great game she played, the predictability of each episode in addition to multiple characters that I just could not stand really made each episode drag. Sure, Sabrina and Christina were likable, and Kat had her funny moments. But by and large, the three of them didn’t get nearly enough screen time to help me look past the other crap that was happening around them. As for the people saying that re-watching this season makes it better because I know what will happen, I shouldn’t have to re-watch a season to appreciate it. If you go to a movie theatre and walk out thinking “That movie was shit! There goes two hours of my life that I’ll never get back,” and the producer runs out behind you screaming “Buy it on DVD and re-watch it! It’ll be better if you know what happens,” you’d tell them in no uncertain terms to screw off because you’re not going to waste your money to buy a movie that you thought was shit. So, by a large margin, I think it should be no question as to why One World is the worst season Survivor has ever produced.

32) Nicaragua - It certainly seems to me that Nicaragua is a season that people either love with all their heart and soul, or hate with every fibre of their being, with very little middle ground. So, I think it’s only fitting that right after reading someone’s take on why Nicaragua is “amazing”, that you see someone’s take as to why Nicaragua is the 2nd worst season in Survivor history.

I think that this was another fairly mean-spirited season with high school drama, especially on the La Flor tribe, although not nearly as bad as One World. Personally, I don’t see how anybody could think Fabio was funny! To me, Fabio was running around all day every day acting like he was two-years-old. Despite Fabio (supposedly) being 21, everything he did only showed me that he actually had the brain of a two-year-old. Further, whenever he voted in the minority (which was more often than not), the look on his face only illustrated that he had no idea what was going on. To me, Fabio is easily the most downright annoying castaway on Nicaragua as I found myself cringing nearly every time he opened his mouth. The fact that he won the season was just the shit cherry on the shit cake.

Fabio wasn’t the only thing that made this season suck though. Alina’s boot episode made me just feel really bad for her considering that she was being ganged up on because NA’ONKA stole food and she happened to be in the vicinity. I mean, I sort of understand being angry at Alina, but the fact that Na’Onka was never targeted at all for it left a just a tiny bit of a bitter taste in my mouth. Speaking of Na’Onka, I must say I have very mixed feelings about her. On one hand, there were times that she made me laugh, but on the other hand, for her to be so negative overall and hog the screen time like she did kind of turned me off. Beyond that, watching Dan in challenges was just painful, and Sash was another character that really got under my skin. Then of course, there’s the very bitter and negative Final Tribal Council. While I understand why jurors become bitter, listening to all that anger and bitterness at the very end only added to my hatred of this season. Finally, there was also the double quit that pissed me off for obvious reasons.

Beyond the characters though, the Medallion of Power twist was a complete and utter flop, and I think the editing of this season was extremely lackluster. Once Tyrone, Marty, and Brenda were gone, the only character that I really cared about somewhat was Holly. Benry was a semi-decent character from what I saw as well, but he got so little screen time that I never got the chance to really get invested in him. As for Holly, it wasn’t “OMG! HOLLY IS AMAZING!” It was more “Well, my favourites are gone, might as well root for Holly… I guess.” While it was shocking to see many of the big players go home so early, the fact that they got so much airtime didn’t give me much of a chance to get invested in many of the characters that stuck around until the end. By the way, for the people screaming at their screens “What about Queen Jane, Uke?!?!” To me, Jane is quite overrated as a character, and she is also one of the biggest reasons that the Final Tribal Council was so bitter and nasty. So, while this season at least beats One World, the fact that I find so many negatives and very few redeeming qualities land Nicaragua at number 32.

31) Redemption Island - I won’t go into too much detail on this one because I think it’s pretty universally agreed upon as to why this season’s nickname is “Redempshit Island”. They might as well have called this season “Let’s Watch Boston Rob Win a Million Dollars.” From the beginning, the only three characters the editors seemed to care about this season were Rob, Russell, and Phillip. Not only is Rob an overrated player, but as people have said, from the second Russell left the game, it was pretty clear that Rob was going to win. I think we all tried to tell ourselves otherwise, but it was certainly the case because absolutely nobody challenged him! The Zapatera tribe was completely ignored since Russell left and it was to the point where you couldn’t tell the difference between Mike and Steve for example. The only reason we knew who Julie was is because she happened to be “the woman from the purple tribe that made the merge”. On top of that, Phillip’s constant mispronouncing of Zapatera’s tribe name (especially because it’s an extremely easy one to pronounce) just shows how insignificant those people were, and it was like the editors were openly telling us how much they didn’t care about them at all.

All that being said, the only thing that bumps Redemption Island above One World and Nicaragua for me is the pre-merge. I think the pre-merge was semi-interesting and it did have some good characters, namely Kristina, Stephanie, Francesca, and even Sarita to an extent. If the four of them all made the merge in place of basically anyone, then we might have had a somewhat compelling season. But alas, it wasn’t to be, and this season was reduced to a pile of utter crap.

30) Cook Islands - I remember looking through rankings of seasons on sites like “Survivor Oz” for example, and for some reason, Cook Islands always seemed to land in or around the top 10. So, I’m happy that I’m not the only one on here that found this season rather boring and bland.

One thing that people like to bring up when they discuss the “awesomeness” of this season is the “underdog story” of the Aitu 4. But let’s break it down here and look at the facts. Candice and Jonathan mutinied to Rarotonga at the final 12. From there, Aitu won 2 immunity challenges, one of which gave Raro the mind-bogglingly stupid “Message in a Bottle” twist, causing them to vote 2 people out! As a result, after those 2 episodes, they merge with 9 people remaining after starting with 20, meaning that Aitu’s “massive deficit” is suddenly all but gone as they enter the merge with the numbers 5-4! This meant that mean they only had to flip one person, and Jonathan did. Now all of a sudden, in the span of 3 episodes, they have a 5-3 MAJORITY! Yeah, so much for “come from behind, underdog story.” People like to praise Yul as a winner for his “strategic dominance” this season, but in reality, it was simple math from the time Nate was blindsided. Sure, Yul flipping Jonathan was a great move, but at the end of the day, with the rest of Raro being pagonged, he didn’t really have to do much from that point forward. Also, as far as “conquering heroes” are concerned, the Aitu 4 were just the worst! It seemed to me that from the time of the mutiny, they became such cocky assholes, belittling Candice every chance they got. Let’s also not forget that at one point, they refused to let the other alliance eat! Survivor has given us many fake “underdog” and “conquering hero” stories in the past, but the story that they like to tell about the Aitu 4 just has to be the phoniest of them all.

Beyond the non-existent underdog/conquering heroes story, this season was filled to the brim with bland and forgettable characters. Sure, this season did give us great characters like Jonathan, and it did introduce us to Ozzy and Parvati. The fact of the matter is though, nobody would even remember Parvati if she didn’t return for Micronesia and Heroes vs Villains. In Cook Islands, Parvati was actually a rather insignificant character! On top of that, the only pre-mergers anyone actually remembers from this season are Billy and Cao Boi, and people only remember Billy because he professed his love for Candice right before being voted out (which I admit was a funny moment). From beginning to end, the episodes this season seem to blend together, and beyond the mutiny and the Billy/Candice thing, there aren’t many memorable moments. So, in the end, I just can’t bring myself to place this season any higher than number 30.

29) All-Stars - This for me is just another terrible season, and it’s a shame that this was the result after they brought back an entire cast of returning players, which at the time was unprecedented for a reality show! Considering just how horrible this season was, it’s amazing to me that they ever tried to do it again! Much like Tozza and Hudson previously stated, the pre-merge was pretty interesting, but it’s a shame that most of the really interesting characters were picked off so early. Further, the interesting characters that did stick around to the merge (Lex, Kathy, Alicia, Big Tom, Rupert), all of them either added to the negativity and bitterness of the season, failed to live up to my expectations given their original season, or both!

Much like some seasons that I have listed before this, I’m bumping All-Stars down this list quite a bit because it’s just so plagued with negativity, and this mostly started with Sue’s quit. I’m not going to get into the reason for her quit because I wasn’t there and I really don’t know what fully happened. However, I do think that this was the point where the season really started to go downhill. Real-life friendships were ruined as a result of this season. Although the Rob/Lex deal/betrayal was iconic, since Lex’s elimination, the amount of negativity that filled this season just became more and more apparent. Romber was clearly in control and the editing made it so clear that nobody was going to challenge them. In fact, the entire Chapera alliance was so stuck up and entitled and the way they treated the outsiders was just horrible. Say what you will about Shii Ann and the way she gloated after her immunity win, but that to me was the only bright spot of the post-merge in All-Stars. Even after Shii Ann’s immunity win though, the Chapera alliance STILL made a point of alienating her and treated her like shit! The episodes in the most merge were not only negative, but they just grew more and more boring and predictable as the season progressed, and it all lead to what was easily the most bitter and negative Final Tribal Council in Survivor history! So, while the pre-Sue quit were fun and interesting, given just how boring and negative All-Stars became, I see no reason I should bring it up any higher.

28) Caramoan - They say sequels are never as good as the original, and boy, this season was that moniker to a T! They brought back the fans vs. favourites twist, which admittingly got me excited at first. However, I remember looking at the list of “favourites” right before the start of the season and here were some of my reactions: Francesca (WTF? She was the first boot in RI!), Andrea (Who?), Dawn (She was a nice lady… I guess), Brandon, Cochran, & Phillip (Fuck my life!). So yeah, of the tribe of 10 “favourites”, only FOUR (Malcolm, Corinne, Brenda, & Erik) were people that I felt actually belonged on that tribe!

Beyond that, calling the other tribe “fans” was a complete and utter joke as, from what I read, the people on that tribe were mostly recruits. In addition, if you were on Gota (I refuse to call them “fans” from this point forward), you were completely ignored unless your name was Reynold or Shamar. Sure, Eddie got some airtime, but if you look closely, you’ll see that Eddie was pretty much ignored as well until after Reynold and Malcolm were gone. Even then, Eddie was still completely overshadowed by Cochran, Dawn, and Andrea. If you rearrange the letters in “Gota”, you get “Goat”, which seemed to be what the editors were telling you that entire tribe was filled with.

I hear people saying that this season was full of blindsides and memorable moments, but I really couldn’t disagree more. The only three blindsides that piqued my interest were Phillip’s, Brenda’s, and Andrea’s. But the fact remains that the “Three Amigos” were essentially just picked off come the merge, and the pre-merge was fairly negative and uninteresting. If you’re wondering why I didn’t mention Corinne’s blindside, I felt that the editing that episode made her boot so predictable and I remember being pissed that Corinne wasn’t on the jury. As far as the negativity of this season goes, there was plenty of that to go around. Brandon’s meltdown may have been memorable, but that was for all the wrong reasons. Brandon clearly was not mentally capable of playing again and how he passed the pre-game psych tests is beyond me! Then you have the unfounded hatred towards Dawn after blindsiding “Poor Brenda” because she found Dawn’s teeth. I liked Brenda in Nicaragua, but the way that both she and the editors played the victim card and made her out to be “St. Brenda” was the one of the worst things that the editors tried to shove down our throats this season. Then there’s Cochran, who got the phoniest “Underdog/conquering hero” story since the Aitu 4. The longer Cochran was in the game, the more he pissed me off. He just became more and more of a cocky asshole that just got on my nerves so much! Every time Cochran won a challenge, he would gloat and his confessionals grew more and more cocky and self-righteous. Then of course, he's sitting in the Final Tribal Council, and despite him getting more confessionals than anyone else, I remember thinking to myself during that finale “He did nothing! Dawn carried the whole season!” Yet somehow, Dawn was showered with nothing but negativity, and Cochran got nothing but praise! The fact that he got a perfect game also pissed me off, especially since Corinne has since said in interviews that if she was on the jury, she would have voted for DAWN, meaning that Cochran couldn’t wouldn’t have the perfect game that some people like to keep going on and on about. To me, Cochran is one of, if not the most overrated winner in Survivor history! I admit that Caramoan did have some good moments, but overall I think that this is just a bad season and I just can’t bring myself to put it much higher.

27) South Pacific - One thing for me that instantly puts South Pacific up above the rest of the seasons I’ve listed so far is that most of the cast had their quirks and were fairly interesting, which did lead to a few fairly good moments here and there. Stacey and Christine pre-merge, basically all of the time, Sophie’s confessionals, Whitney blowing up on Cochran, Edna in her boot episode, I could go on, and these little moments last throughout this season, and it does give it some life. That being said though, that doesn’t take away from the fact that South Pacific is still ranked as number 27, and I’m putting it this low because as a whole, it’s a very boring season overall, and it does get quite cringeworthy at times.

First off, the whole religious angle this season pissed me off. I am Roman Catholic, and normally I like it when castaways are open about having faith in God. That being said, Coach and Brandon in particular took “faith in God” to such a level that the church would consider what they did this season blasphemy (using the Lord’s name in vain). I say this because since Coach and Brandon used God so much this season, to me it came off as though they were mocking Him. They were using the name of God for their own selfish and greedy purposes, and to me, that’s uncalled for. Not only that, but Sophie has since said in interviews that in those prayer circles, Coach would “pray” to God to help him find the idol… when the idol was already in his fucking pocket! If that’s not mocking the Lord, I don’t know what is! Furthermore, Brandon, Cochran, and Ozzy in particular were just absolutely terrible this season! First off, Ozzy’s arrogance has always pissed me off, and this season he was as bad as he’s ever been! Then there was Brandon, who was not only blasphemous, but also extremely self-righteous, hateful, and downright annoying! I mean seriously, his non-stop jabs at Edna just to belittle her when she already knows she’s on the outs, and of course the fact that he hated and targeted Mikayla just because she’s hot. Finally, there was Cochran, who was just such an attention seeking, whiny, entitled little brat who played the victim card every chance he got! Never (until One World) have I seen a castaway that pissed me off more! He went on and on about how he was “bullied” on Savaii, even though I’m amazed that they didn’t kill him! Even after he flipped and the rest of Savaii were pagonged in a string of boring episodes, Cochran actually said to the former Upolus, “I feel like you guys are indebted to me” and “I feel like I’m entitled to another couple of days out here because I flipped to you guys.” He actually full on said that he felt he was ENTITLED to last longer! Like seriously, on numerous occasions, I wanted to reach inside my TV and strangle Cochran! Not only that, but he reminded everyone that he was a nerd so often that it made the term “nerd” more of an insult than it already was. I literally hated Cochran with every fibre of my being! Honestly, between South Pacific and Caramoan, I can’t decide which version of Cochran I hate more.

Beyond some of the many quirky moments littered sporadically throughout the season, there was only one constant gem, and her name is Sophie Clarke (Christine and Stacey don’t count as “constant gems” because they were pre-mergers). Sophie was an amazing player that absolutely ran the season! She made Coach and Albert her minions without them realizing it, she was just as instrumental as Coach in getting Cochran to flip, and she kept her entire alliance in line! Not only that, but she had an amazing Final Tribal Council performance, and I am so happy she won! Not only was Sophie a great winner, but she is an extremely underrated confessionalist with some great quotes! “Cochran said that he feels like we’re indebted to him. I don’t feel like I’m indebted to you, screw you!” Her confessional about flushing Albert down the toilet; her “Whore of Babylon” confessional, among many others! Unfortunately, given the amount of utter crap we were put through this season, Sophie was unable to save South Pacific from being another horrifically bad season that I’d like to bleach from my memory.

So finally, all of the supremely terrible seasons are out of the way. The seasons up next are good overall. However, they simply don’t match up to the ones above them.