This is Bermuda, Not Bed and Breakfast

This is the premiere episode of Survivor: Bermuda - Brain vs Brawn vs Beauty!

Challenges
Reward/Immunity Challenge: Blade Runner One at a time, four players run to a chopping station, use a sword to cut through seven marked sections of wood to release a hanging bundle of puzzle discs, chop them off from the rope, and carry them back to the start line. Then, the other two place the sixteen discs onto a puzzle pole with a heavy stone base and drag it past the four stations to the finish line.

Reward: 1st: Large fire-making kit 2nd: Flint Winner: TBD

Day 1
The camera opens as some shots of the beautiful Bermudan scenery are shown. In the water, there is a white speedboat, on which stands Jeff Probst. The camera then focuses on him as he begins to speak.

Jeff: We are here in the beautiful country of Bermuda, where 18 Americans from all walks of life will be marooned to play the ultimate mental, physical and social game, battling the elements and each other. They have already been divided into three tribes of six, based on the most prominent trait in their lives. This season is the battle of Brain vs. Brawn vs. Beauty!

(The camera then moves away to focus on three smaller boats behind Jeff Probst; one aqua, one magenta and one brown. Focus first goes to the aqua boat.)

Jeff: On this boat, we have the Somers tribe, who will always wear aqua. In their daily lives, all six of these Americans rely on their strength to get them by and earn their paychecks.

(The camera focuses on a young Asian man as he looks to the east, scouting the other boats and his competition, letting the wind blow his hair.)

"somers"

- I guess they put me on here because I'm a carpenter, but I'm way more than just a strong guy. (points to head) I got the brains, (motions to body, poses) and I got the beauty too! I've been waiting to play this game for so long. I love it, and I'm going to do everything I can. This is a numbers game, a social game. I'll find any excuse to bond with you: you got three kids? So does my aunt. You're into football? Same. I'll use my looks to my advantage. I'll flirt with girls to get ahead, and I WILL get ahead. Hell, I'll even flirt with dudes if it lands me at the end! But while I bond with you, I'm gonna be working overtime to find the best position, and if you're not in that picture, off you go. I was born to play this game. These guys better watch out.

(Following Ryan's confessional, the camera focuses on a young, blonde woman at the back of the boat, wearing an orange cardigan and cautiously checking out the other people on her boat. She gulps nervously as her confessional is heard.)

"somers"

- I'm a construction worker, so I suppose I fit on the brawn tribe, but looking around here everyone seems so much stronger than me. I feel really intimidated already. I never fit in in high school; I was always the loner who got bullied, and I can't help but feel that's gonna happen here. I just don't see a way I'm gonna be able to blend with these guys, because I already stand out like a sore thumb. I hope I'm wrong, because I've got a lot to offer this tribe. I just hope I can show that.

(After Gwen's confessional, the camera focuses on an older African-American female, who sits with one arm leaning on the edge of the boat, staring out into the distance.)

"somers"

- I'm not here to take anyone's bull. I'm gonna call a spade a spade, I'm gonna call a dumbass a dumbass, and I'm gonna say what everyone's thinking. That's just who I am in life. It's gotten me enemies in real life and it'll probably get me a few here too, but I'm not gonna put on this fake, sugar-coated, happy old lady act for anyone. You either love me or hate me, end of. If you choose to align with me, I'll be loyal to you, but if you betray me... you won't live to tell the tale.

The camera then transitions to the magenta boat, where six more castaways are shown.

Jeff Probst: Here in this boat is the Stovel tribe, who will always wear magenta. They are the beauty tribe; six Americans who are reliant on their looks in their everyday lives.

(The camera focuses on a shirtless man with brown hair and a goatee. As he surveys the competition, a cunning smile comes across his face.)

"stovel"

- These people right here have absolutely no idea what kind of hell they've just signed up for. We're the beauty tribe, and that means there's gonna be a lot of dumbasses on here who wouldn't know the meaning of strategy if they looked it up in the dictionary. I want this game. I want to win. I always do. I'll accept nothing less. I'll find people who will be loyal to me and I'll keep them until they're of no use to me anymore. You get in my way, I'll cut you. I don't care how good allies we are, if you're the challenge beast who could win us a challenge with one arm tied behind your back, whatever. I'll get what I want and no one is standing in my way. I'd drown every single person on this boat with my bare hands if it meant getting what I wanted. I will do anything to win and I am going to dominate this game.

(Following Will's confessional, the camera focuses on a beautiful young blonde woman, with smooth, flowing hair and wearing a long dress. She sighs as she stares out into the distance.)

"stovel"

- Most people come out here wanting to tick it off their bucket list, do one last thing before they get too old, or to win the money and change their lives. I'm different. I don't care about the money, or how well I do, as long as I make my parents proud. My parents and I don't have the best relationship. They were a doctor and a lawyer and wanted me to use my smarts and follow in their footsteps, but I decided to be an exotic dancer. They disowned me and we've barely spoken a word since. I want to get back into their lives and I want to give them a reason to be proud of me. I'm going to do well because I have a bigger fire burning in me than anyone else here, because I have everything at stake. The key to winning this game is laying low and making moves when you have to make them, but making sure people don't hate you for it. There's a fine line between strategic and despicable and I'm not gonna cross it. Mom. Dad, I'm gonna make you proud.

(Following Misty's confessional, the camera transitions to another pretty young woman with long black hair, wearing a yellow hat.)

"stovel"

- I'm a fashion blogger from Boca Raton and I come from a verywealthy background. I have all the luxuries in life, I'm popular and I've got a huge social media following. People call me a privileged white girl, or a spoiled bitch. I wouldn't call myself spoiled, but bitch? Hell yeah I'm a bitch. I do what I want and don't take orders from anybody. I'm used to getting everything I ask for her, when and exactly when I ask for it. It's gonna be the same here. I won't run around doing camp work, making flashy moves, getting paranoid or doing all the strategic work. I'm gonna get someone to do that for me 'cause I always do. I don't really need to do much anyway, 'cause I've got great boobs and a great butt, and in this game sometimes that's all you need. (winks at the camera)

The camera then moves over to the brown boat, focusing on the last group of six.

Jeff: In the brown boat is the Gombey tribe, who will always wear brown. These people are highly intelligent, using their brains as their biggest asset.

(The camera focuses on an elderly woman with glasses and short grey hair.)

"gombey"

- I teach sociology at college. I've even taught at one of the most high profile colleges in England. I've been learning about sociology almost since I could read. It's all about the study of human behaviour, how people interact, and Survivor is a social game.How people behave is everything out here and I believe I've got an advantage. People are going to look at me and see this old woman who won't be useful to them in challenges because they like to stick labels on everything. I'm so much more than that. I've got a brain in my head and I'm gonna use my smarts to get ahead any way I know how. I'll find cracks in alliances, if I'm in a bad position I'll do something about it. These people may think I'm easy competition but I won't go down without a fight.

(The camera changes focus to a middle-aged African American woman wearing a red vest as she looks at the tribe around her with a smile.)

"gombey"

- I'm so thrilled to be on the brains tribe. I thrive around intelligent people. I love competition, I love debates and I love giving my brain a workout. Hopefully being on the brains tribe means I'm surrounded by people exactly like myself, because good minds think alike and I'll be able to use that to my advantage. I'll look for a majority, but I'll go for a majority within that majority too. This game, it's all about being in control but making it look like someone else is in control instead. I'll look for people to take the heat off me while I run the game from under them, and when I'm sitting at the end, people won't know what hit them.

(The camera then changes to a middle-aged man with a blue shirt, black coat and a black hat as he analyses his surroundings with a frown.)

"gombey"

- I'm a private investigator and that has prepared me for this game through and through. This game's very foundations are built on lies and deception. I can spot a liar from a mile away. I can pick up on the little things everyone misses; body language, the tiniest hesitation or uncertainty in the voice. My job has also taught me to trust no one, because sometimes your best friend can turn out to be your worst enemy. I'll build an alliance, but I'll always be on the lookout for any signs of betrayal, and if I know you're shady I'll strike you down faster than you can blink. These people, they have no idea just how dangerous I can be... and trust me, none of them want to find out.

Jeff: 39 days, 18 people, 1 Survivor!

(There is a timeskip. The boats come into shore, everyone gets out and goes to stand on their respective mats.)

Jeff: Welcome to Survivor: Bermuda - Brain vs. Brawn vs. Beauty!

(Everyone cheers.)

Jeff: Let's start with you, the African American man in the green shirt. What's your name?

Xavier: I'm Xavier!

Jeff: What tribe do you think you're on?

Xavier: Everyone here looks incredibly strong, so I'm going to say the brawns.

Jeff: Well, you'd be right. you are Somers, the brawn tribe. Here are your buffs. (He throws them to Xavier, who catches and distributes them) How do you think you'll do?

Xavier: I think we've all got the capabilities to do extremely well, and as long as we're all calm, focused and get along with each other, nothing will break us,

Jeff: Okay, man with the blue hair and purple shirt.

Bailey: Bailey!

Jeff: Bailey, how does it feel to be on this show right now?

Bailey: It feels so great! I'm really excited to be here. Based on what I can see, I think we're the beauty tribe, but we're way more than just pretty faces! (giggles)

Jeff: You guys are the Stovel tribe, AKA the beauties. Here are your buffs. (He throws the bag of buffs to Bailey. He catches them, takes one and passes it around.)

Bailey: Ooh, I like magenta!

Jeff: Lady with the long black hair and green shirt.

Veronica: Veronica!

Jeff: It won't take a genius to work out you guys are the brain tribe. Do you think that your smarts will give your group an advantage?

Veronica: I think having six smart players will be great for our team, because we'll be able to break through every problem we face. I love this team already!

Jeff: Well it's time to get you off to your camps. Here are the maps to your new homes. I suggest you get started on shelters as soon as possible. The game has just begun and it's time to find out who will triumph: brains, brawn or beauty? Head on out.

(The castaways head out.)

Somers Tribe
The camera picks up again as the Somers tribe reaches their camp for the first time.

Oswald: Home, sweet home, everyone! We're finally here!

Maria: (looking around) This just feels like one giant campsite. (laughs) I'm a camp coordinator so I feel right at home! (moves away) Okay, why don't we get started on a shelter?

Gwen: Um, shouldn't we do introductions first? I mean, if we're gonna be here for a while together, we should know who we all are, right?

Xavier: Introductions sound great! I'll go first, if no  one minds?

Celia: (irritated) Why would we mind?

Xavier: (ignoring the remark, smiling) Okay, then. I'm Xavier and I'm a lifeguard from Montgomery, Alabama.

Gwen: I'm Gwen, I work in construction and I'm from Boulder, Colorado.

Maria: You're from Boulder? Wow. I'm from Aspen!

Gwen: Aspen, Colorado?

Celia: How many Aspens are there in the U.S? Obviously Colorado.

Gwen: (nervous laugh) Yeah, right. Sorry. Wow, we're, like, a three hour drive from each other!

Maria: I've been there, it's a great place. (laughs) Sorry, I'm interrupting the introductions. (turns to Oswald) Who are you?

Oswald: I'm Oswald, a third-generation butcher from Raleigh, North Carolina.

Ryan: Wait... third-generation butcher? What?

Oswald: I run a butchery that's been in my family for three generations. It doesn't make the best money, but I love that place. It's gonna continue being in our family for generations to come, too. I've got five kids and I'm currently training my eldest son, as my father trained me before he passed- bless his soul- to take over the business when it comes my time to bite the dust.

Xavier: I think it's wonderful that you're so dedicated to the family business that you are, and will continue to, pass it down through generations, even in today's hard times. It's really admirable.

Oswald: Thank you. I'd never give up that butchery for the world. Our family does struggle sometimes, but we love what we do.

Celia: Well, as long as you don't turn it into a sympathy story if you make Final Tribal Council, you can have your butchery and five kids. Seriously, people who try to use the sympathy card to win make me want to vomit.

Oswald: (laughs heartily) Trust me.. uh...

Celia: I'm Celia.

Oswlad: Trust me, Celia, if I manage to make the Final Tribal Council, that's the last thing I'll be using. (chuckles)

(Xavier is shown frowning in Celia's direction.)

"somers"

- I know it's day one and we've only been here about ten minutes or so, and I really shouldn't be reading too much into immediate first impressions, but Celia already seems like such a negative presence. We're just doing something normal like introducing ourselves and she's had a negative comment for nearly everything, first about Gwen asking if Maria meant Aspen, Colorado; then again when Oswald mentioned his backstory. It's a little draining, if I'm honest. I'm not going to rush into decisions based on first impressions, though. I'm going to give Celia the benefit of the doubt and give her multiple chances to be more positive. I surround myself with positivity in my everyday life and always believe in looking at things optimistically, however if Celia continues to be negative, I'm afraid she may have to go if we're to visit Tribal Council. Our tribe can't afford to have negative energy in the camp if we're going to succeed long term.

Ryan: Alright, let's get to making a shelter! I'm a carpenter, so I reckon I can help structure us a great one! (laughs)  Oswald, you're a butcher. You'd be good with a machete, right?

Oswald: Shouldn't be too different from a meat clever, my friend! (laughs)

Ryan: Alright, then, great! So, you can cut the materials down. Who'd like to do palm fronds? Someone who isn't really into heavy lifting.

Celia: I can do palm fronds. Gwen, wanna do them with me?

Gwen: Okay, sure.

Ryan: Alright, great. I'll go with the others, then when we come back I'll get started on structuring this thing. See you guys soon.

Gwen: Bye!

(Maria, Ryan, Oswald and Xavier all leave. The camera focuses on Oswald, who is chuckling softly as he walks away.)

"somers"

- Ryan's just placed himself into the leader position and he's ordering us all 'round like army men. (chuckles) I know a lot of people would complain about how Ryan's a millennial and he's young and thinks he knows everything, but personally I'm all for it, and not even from a game perspective. First and foremost this is experience from him and he's only going to improve from it. If he makes mistakes he'll learn from them. I certainly wasn't always the best butcher around, and I made a lot of mistakes. My father didn't condescendingly tell me that I'm young and think I know everything, and of course that was the wrong thing to do, and he would have done better. No, he let me learn from the mistake and gave me the chance to rectify it, and I only became a better butcher because of it. That's why I don't have an issue with Ryan leading. People need to give young millennials a chance instead of looking down on them. Ryan needs the experience and this is going to be great for him in the future, when he looks back and sees what he did right and what he could have done better. Of course, from a game perspective, if he does make a mistake, that's only good for me, right? (laughs)

(Gwen moves over to Celia.)

Gwen: So we're doing palm fronds, right?

Celia: Isn't that literally what I just said?

Gwen: (a little stung) Oh, right, sorry. I was just checking.

Celia: Whatever, come on. Let's do this.

(Silently, the two of them begin weaving palm fronds, until Gwen takes a deep breath and, cautiously, decides to break the ice.)

Gwen: So... um, what do you do for a living?

Celia: (continuing to weave, not looking at Gwen) I own a bicycle repair shop.

Gwen: Oh, that's cool. I do construction.

Celia: (failing to hide her irritation) I know, you said earlier.

Gwen: (deflated) Yeah... I did, didn't I?

(The two of them continue to weave palm fronds for a while. Gwen looks at her palm frond nervously, then to Celia, then her frond, then back to Celia again. Taking another deep breath, she initiates conversation again.)

Gwen: Am I doing this right?

Celia: (looks at Gwen's frond for a second, then immediately returns to hers) It looks fine to me.

Gwen: Oh... okay.

(Gwen continues to weave her frond, glancing at it anxiously.)

Gwen: Are you sure I'm doing this right? Because something feels wrong.

Celia: (snaps) Yes! It's fine! I literally just said that, didn't I? God.

(Irritated, Celia returns to her palm frond, working at it aggressively. Gwen sighs, turns away and works on her own, not looking at Celia. The camera focuses on Gwen as she works.)

"somers"

- I knew I wouldn't fit in here, I just knew it. We've only been here for a few minutes and already someone hates me. Celia's being mean to me for absolutely no reason. I haven't done anything except try and start conversation and just double check I'm doing the palm fronds right. This is like high school all over again. People bully me and I don't even do anything; I always annoy people without even meaning to, just because I need to double check things or need a bit of extra help. What's wrong with me? (deep sigh) Maybe Celia's just one bad person. I hope the others are more tolerant and accepting of me than she is, otherwise I'm not going to last long.

(The camera then transitions to Celia who rolls her eyes.)

Celia: (under her breath) For crying out loud.

"somers"

- I suck at hiding my emotions and that's going to give me problems out here. I was just hoping it would take longer than five freaking minutes for someone to annoy the crap out of me, but nope, along comes Gwen! She just asks the most stupid questions and says the same things over and over and I have zero tolerance for people who do that. It's just time wasting and annoying. I didn't realise one person could annoy me so much in such a short time. First, during introductions, she says she's from Boulder, then Maria says she's from Aspen, and Gwen says "Aspen, Colorado?" (rolls eyes) Obviously Colorado, dumbass. How many Aspens are there? Then I ask her to do palm fronds and, like, ten seconds later she goes "So I'm doing palm fronds, right?" even though I just said it. Then, as we're weaving, she asks me if she's doing it right, so I say yes. Then she asks me again, about thirty seconds after she asks me the first time! God, that woman is infuriating! I'm just not going to talk to her anymore. She annoys me too much. She'd drive me crazy. I didn't come out here to check myself into an insane asylum, I came out here to win a million dollars, and I'm gonna do that no matter how annoying the other people are!

(From Celia's confessional, the camera transitions into the forest, where the other castaways are looking for supplies. Ryan stops at a spot with multiple trees.)

Ryan: These look sturdy enough for a shelter. Oswald, you gonna be able to cut them down?

Oswald: Could do it with my eyes closed, but I'm not going to. I don't want to miss and end up evacuated ten minutes into the game! (laughs heartily)

(With a few chops, the tree comes down.)

Oswald: Barely even broke a sweat. You want another one of these?

Ryan: Yes, that'd be awesome. Man, we're gonna have a strong shelter in no time!

Oswald: Sir, yes, sir. (laughs, then chops down another tree.) That gonna do?

Ryan: Perfect. Maria, Xavier, you wanna take this log and Oswald and I can take the other one?

Maria: I can take a log by myself, it's no problem.

(Maria bends down and picks up the log with ease, as if its were a feather.)

Xavier: Wow, wonder woman!

Maria: It's no sweat if you're strong enough!

Ryan: Alright, let's get these back to camp. (He bends down to pick up the other log.)

Maria: You're carrying it wrong. Carry it like me. You'll break your back otherwise.

Ryan: I'm a carpenter. I carry stuff like this in my job everyday.

Maria: You ever pulled a back muscle?

Ryan: Yeah, it hurt like hell.

Maria: Then carry it the way I am and you won't pull a muscle again. Trust me, I know what I'm doing. (laughs)

Ryan: Alright then, log carrying extraordinaire! (laughs)  Let's go back to camp, guys. I think we've got enough stuff, and Gwen and Celia should be done with palm fronds by now.

Maria: Definitely, and I'm not some extraordinaire. It's just basic knowledge if you study the human body or physiotherapy. And if you're referring to how in the world I can possibly carry a log of this size so easily, it's because I'm very strong. (laughs)

Ryan: Noted!

(Ryan and Maria head back to camp. Ryan watches Maria with interest as she carries the log with absolutely no struggle whatsoever, while he grunts with effort at the log's weight.)

"somers"

- I'm actually pretty intimidated by Maria. She's super-strong, like, she carried that log with ease and I struggled with mine. Not only that, she's good with words too and she sounds pretty smart. That's a really dangerous player to me. She's going to be an asset in challenges for us early on so she'll have to stay around for a while. I need to get her on my side as soon as possible. Maria seems crafty, so if she was against me, I think it'd be the en of my game. I need to find the time as soon as possible to sit down with Maria, bond and align with her. I know it's only day one and this is a first impression, but it was a damn good one. I think my game depends on me working with Maria until it's safe to get rid of her.

With the other four arriving back at camp, construction immediately begins on the shelter. Ryan immediately takes charge in directing the structure, ordering where the logs and palm fronds should be placed. Maria mostly takes charge with the heavy lifting, placing logs and other heavy things with complete ease. Xavier, Oswald, Gwen and Celia all contribute to the building of the floor and placing of the palm fronds. All six of them work efficiently and quickly. Soon, a sturdy looking shelter is completed.

Maria: Wow! We completed that a lot quicker than I thought. It's such a great shelter, too. Well done guys, we did an awesome job.

Celia: I was so impressed by your lifting. How do you do it?

Maria: It's nothing, really. I'm just a very fit person and go to the gym a lot.

Gwen: A lot is right! You're the strongest person here!

Maria: (dismissive) I'm just a very active person. I love the outdoors and I have to be busy. I hate downtime. I feel lazy.

Oswald: You hate downtime? Someone picked the wrong show!

(Everyone laughs. The camera focuses on Maria, whose laugh is short-lived as she stares off into the distance, distracted, deep in thought.)

"somers"

- I really like this tribe so far. The way we built the shelter shows we're efficient, hard-working and have excellent team skills. I see no reason why we shouldn't dominate challenges and last a long time. I hope I can bond with these guys well enough, but I'm being forced to hide a lot of information from these guys for strategy's sake. Questions came today about my supposed superhuman strength and lifting abilities. I dismissed them as being an active person who goes to the gym a lot, but the truth is I'm a former professional weightlifter and I represented my country at Olympic level. This getting out could be dangerous for a number of reasons; mostly because I feel there'd be an overwhelming and unfair expectation on me to carry physical challenges, meaning I'd be judged more harshly if we lost. Secondly, people could be threatened by my physical strength, and the revelation that I was a professional athlete might push them even further towards voting me out as they realise just how strong I really am. Or, they could just think I don't need the money and deny me votes at the Final Tribal Council. It means I can't open to people as much as I'd like, and it could impact my social game, but it's a sacrifice I have to make.

Stovel Tribe
The camera pans around a few shots of the Bermudan landscape before coming back to the Stovel tribe, who are entering their camp for the first time.

Jacob: So, this is where we're gonna be camping for the immediate future, huh?

Misty: (surveying the area) It could use a few homely touches.

Kelsie: (stepping forward) I think we should get working on a shelter as soon as possible, because we don't want to end up working into the night. Why don't we get introductions out of the way quickly? I'm Kelsie, I'm from Fort Wayne Indiana. (She motions to Isla to continue the introductions)

Isla: (confidently) I'm Isla, I'm a fashion blogger from Boca Raton. You'll probably recognise me if you have Instagram and actually use it. I mean, I'm pretty big. Oh, and boys... (she flips her hair and stares at them seductively) You better get used to me.

(Everyone except Kelsie laughs. Kelsie rolls her eyes as the introductions continue. When everyone has introduced themselves, Kelsie moves on with the business at hand.)

Kelsie: Alright, let's get started. We need a couple of people to do palm fronds. Who wants to do that?

Isla: I'll do it, I hate lifting heavy things, like ew. (she motions to her body) Why would I want to risk damaging this masterpiece?

Misty: (laughs) I'll tag along with Isla. If we're going by Isla's logic, I don't want to risk breaking something. I'd be out of a job for a while.

Isla: Damn right. You're not gonna be able to do much dancing with a broken back. You'd totally get a pity penny from someone who felt sorry for you, but you'd end up out of a job pretty fast. I'm not sure why you'd want to go to all that effort of heavy lifting anyway.

Kelsie: Someone's gotta do it. Okay, so if Misty and Isla are doing palm fronds-

Will: (cutting her off) Kelsie, you look strong. Come with Bailey, Jacob and I, and we can start gathering some supplies for the shelter.

Kelsie: (frowns) Okay, I was about to say that if you'd let me finish.

Will: Let's go.

(Kelsie, Will, Jacob and Bailey walk off to the forest to gather supplies. The camera focuses on Kelsie as she continues to frown in Will's direction, before shaking her head.)

"stovel"

- So I was just figuring out the best way to build the shelter, and as soon as I'm about to suggest that the four of us go off and find supplies, Will cuts over the top of me and says exactly what I was about to say! Ugh. Okay, you know what? That's fine. I guess Will can't handle that someone else other than him actually has an idea, so he has to say it to make himself look smart. If that's how we're gonna play, okay, it can be Will's World for now. But if he thinks I'm just gonna bow down and do whatever the hell he says when it comes to game, he's got another thing coming.

(The camera then focuses on Will, who looks straight ahead. He takes a look at Kelsie as she walks beside him, observing her with interest.)

"stovel"

- So Kelsie's an alpha. Interesting. Unfortunately for her the position of alpha in this tribe has already been taken by me. Kelsie and I clash, she's too headstrong, she has her own ideas, much like me. That makes her an immediate threat, as she could very well take me out if she deems it necessary to her, which she more than likely will. I definitely should vanquish her sooner rather than later. I won't jump the gun here, however. I recognise we need to win challenges to survive and I'm not stupid enough to decimate this tribe for the fun of it. As long as Kelsie doesn't make waves and stays out of my way, she will be fine. However if she crosses me or interferes with my plans, she will be cut without any hesitation. I don't care how strong she is.

(Following Will's confessional, the camera goes back to Isla and Misty as they weave palm fronds. Isla weaves lazily, while Misty works a lot more efficiently. After weaving a couple of palm fronds, Isla sits down and sighs.)

Isla: I'm bored as hell already.

Misty: (laughs, looks over Isla's work) You've done two fronds.

Isla: Yeah, two fronds is enough for me. I wasn't made for working too hard.

Misty: (giggles) That's fine. You know, if you only do a couple more, you won't have to do anymore work for ages and you can just lie around then.

Isla: Weaving a palm frond is so much ''effort. (''laughs)

Misty: Look at me, I've done about five by now. It's really not that much of an effort. If it doesn't get finished by the time Will and Kelsie get back, there's gonna be trouble. You wanna do a couple more?

Isla: You work faster than me, why don't you do it? Besides I've already done two, so if Kelsie and Will wanna come at me for being lazy and not working, they won't even have a case.

Misty: (laughs) No, they won't, will they? Tell you what, if you don't wanna do any more palm fronds and you wanna sit around, that's fine by me. I'm happy that you contributed with two fronds at least.

Isla: Yeah, and no offence to you, but my palm fronds are totally prettier than yours. Like, they're gonna come back and be all "Oh my God, those two palm fronds there are so pretty!" and I'll be like "Those two are mine," and they can thank me later. Prettiest girls make the prettiest fronds!

Misty: (giggles) They so do, don't they, girl?

Isla: You wish you could frond like me. (flips hair, laughs)

(As Isla sits down and watches Misty weave the remaining fronds. As she weaves, Misty has a smile on her face.)

"stovel"

- Isla's work ethic doesn't bother me at all. I'm perfectly fine with her working at the level she wants. Just look at the positives here: at least she made two fronds and didn't make me do all the work. Those are pretty good fronds, too, so I'm not complaining! I feel like Isla's gonna cause drama and rub people the wrong way around here, but I'm going to stay away from that. I'm not going to make a big mountain out of something so trivial. Anyway, even though she's lazy, Isla's actually really fun to be around. She's so snarky and sassy and she's made this tedious task fun.

(The camera then focuses on Isla, who is lying down and watching Misty weave fronds and twirling her hair in her fingers.)

"stovel"

- Okay, so Misty is actually really cool. Like, most people would be like, "OMG Isla, you need to do more work! You're so lazy!" but Misty was like, "You did two palm fronds, I work quicker, so I'll do the rest." See, people? It's not that hard to not be a jackass. I bet Misty is the only person who won't be mad about how little work I do- AKA the only person around here who's not gonna suck- so she better stick around. And she better actually align with me later on because if she aligns with people that suck, she's gonna suck too, and that means I won't like her anymore. I can get really petty over these things too, like my former BFF Whitney started hanging out with a girl I hated so we stopped being friends. Misty better not be my Whitney out here. Ugh.

(Following Isla's confessional, the camera picks up on the four other Stovel castaways in the forest as they gather supplies for the shelter.)

Will: (pointing at a tree) Kelsie, cut that down. It looks good.

Kelsie: (trying to hide her annoyance) Yeah, that's a great tree.

(Kelsie looks at Bailey and rolls her eyes, motioning at Will, before she begins to chop the tree down. Bailey giggles.)

Will: What's funny?

Bailey: Nothing.

Will: Then why were you laughing?

'Bailey: (nervously) Um... no reason.

Will: Whatever.

Kelsie: Do you want me to cut another one down, Will?

Will: I can do this one. Hand me the machete.

Kelsie: Oh, okay then.

(Kelsie hands Will the mahcete and Will aggressively cuts down the tree. Sensing the tension in the air, Jacob tries to break the ice.)

Jacob: Is it just me, or is it really hot today?

WIll: Yes, it's pretty hot. So, are you guys going to carry these back?

Jacob: Oh, yeah. Bailey, wanna help me with this one?

Bailey: Oh, okay. So Kelsie and Will are gonna take the other?

Kelsie: Fine by me. Will?

Will: You don't need my permission to pick up a log.

Kelsie: (under her breath) That's a first.

(Kelsie and Will pick up their log and start walking back to camp.)

Jacob: (laughs) Those guys are totally gonna kill each other.

Bailey: Yeah! Ugh, I need to stay out of the way of them. We gonna get this back to camp, then?

Jacob: Yeah, but just a sec. It's actually really hot out here. You don't mind if I take my shirt off, do you?

Bailey: Um, no, that's fine.

Jacob: Sorry if my body puts you into a shock-induced coma. (giggles, then takes his shirt off and puts it over his shoulder.) Okay, on three. One, two... three!

(They pick up the log and head back to camp. The camera focuses on Bailey, who is staring dreamily at Jacob's body as they walk. They get back to camp and put the log down. Jacob stretches and Bailey continues to stare at his flexing muscles, before letting out a sigh.)

"stovel"

- Okay, Jacob's probably straight, but he's really, really cute! He took his shirt off and he was stretching and I couldn't help staring. He's got such a great body. (sighs) All the hot guys are straight or taken. Jacob seems like a really nice guy though, I mean he's not Kelsie or Will, and I probably need someone to watch my back. It helps that he's cute too! (giggles) Hopefully I can get to know Jacob a little more, because I think we could be great allies! And maybe, just maybe, he doesn't end up being straight? Please? (laughs)

A montage of the Stovel Tribe building the shelter is then shown, with Will and Kelsie doing most of the work on structure, with Bailey, Jacob and Misty contributing. Isla does very little work at all, mostly tagging alongside Misty and only doing very small tasks. Soon, the shelter is finished, and the tribe is relaxing. They are all sitting around inside the shelter, engaged in casual conversation.

Isla: So, like, what would you guys be doing now if you were at home? I'd totally be on Instagram, putting something on there. I mean, with so many followers, I pretty much have to post daily.

Jacob: How many followers have you got?

Isla: Like, 50,000, last I checked.

Jacob: (whistles) Damn, you must have some good stuff on there.

Isla: Um, duh, you think I'd let a sub-par photo on there?

Jacob: Fair enough. (laughs) What about you, Kelsie?

Kelsie: I'd probably be at the gym by now. I go to the gym nearly every day. I'm a swimsuit model, but I'm not gonna be a pile of bones!

Misty: That's really great! I always thought about hitting the gym, but I can never really find the time for it.

Kelsie: You have to make time for it. I always do. If you put it off because you can't find time, you're never gonna go.

Misty: True, true. What about you, Will? What do you do for fun?

Will: I like to troll radical left wing social justice warrior crybullies on the internet.

Misty: (giggles) Wait, what?

Will: I'm being completely serious. There's nothing funnier than pissing off a bunch of teenagers because you disagree with their opinions. They think they're getting to me by typing in all caps, but I'm just sitting at my computer laughing my ass off and making them even angrier.

Misty: (giggles) Each to their own. Why do you do it?

Will: Why not? It's funny. I can't stand radical people, left or right wing. Let me tell you all a personal favourite story of mine: So I work as a topless waiter and our restaurant employs both men and women. Well, one day, a radical feminist walked into our restaurant. She claimed my best friend- a woman- was being exploited for being made to work topless, and we were all sexists contributing to the patriarchy or whatever. I asked her if she thought it was sexist for me to be topless and she said no, so I said "if you think it's sexist and exploitation to have a female topless waiter but it's okay for men to be topless waiters, then you're the sexist." I pissed her off so much, she called me a "sexist, chauvinistic pig." (laughs) Stupid radical left wing crybullies, trying to insult you because they know you're right. Anyway, I came out with her meal, and I (uses finger quotes) "accidentally" spilled it all over her.

Jacob: (laughs heartily) Oh my God, you didn't!

Will: I did. I nearly lost my job and I had to pay for her dry cleaning but it was so worth it. I just love getting under radicals' skin.

Misty: Do you ever get blocked?

Will: Yes. Hell yes. Some of them block me faster than I can blink, but I don't care, it just makes it more fun and I find someone else. Man, you should have seen the SJW's during the election last year. I told everyone I was voting for Trump and they absolutely lost their minds. It's funny because they think their words have an impact on me. I'll happily admit I voted for Trump at the last election, and I'd do it a million times over. I'm not going to shy away from that opinion, no matter how many times I'm told to kill myself by "triggered" teenagers on Tumblr because I'm invading their safe space. (laughs) I've been called every name in the book, but the angrier they get, the funnier it is, so I just keep pushing them.

Jacob: You are a badass, dude.

Isla: That sounds like so much effort. I could never do that.

Misty: That's pretty funny, I have to say. (laughs)

Will: Oh, if you think that's funny, let me tell you about the time I got into an argument with someone over the all-female remake of Ghostbusters being pointless...

(Will begins talking and laughing in a mocking tone as he tells his story. Occasionally people laugh, or chime in with discussions of their own. The camera focuses on Bailey who, unlike the others, is not laughing and contributing very little to the conversation. He is eyeing Will with agitation and fear.)

"stovel"

- Ugh. Will is just... so intimidating. I mean, he's one of the scariest people I've ever met. He trolls people and makes them angry for fun and he doesn't give a crap how anyone feels! Man, I really, really don't wanna get on his bad side. I feel like if I did cross him, he'd just destroy me without thinking twice about it. I'm almost scared to even talk to him in case I say the wrong thing. I have a really, really bad vibe about this guy. My first impressions about people are usually right, and my first impression of Will is that he's a fearless guy who scares the absolute crap out of me. I think I need to lay low and avoid Will at all costs, or I could get into some serious trouble.

Gombey Tribe
The camera picks up as the Gombey Tribe enter their camp for the first time.

Adrian: This is a nice place!

Gary: Well, why don't we get started on a shelter? The sooner we get it done, the more time there'll be to relax.

Veronica: I know there's work to be done, but why don't we introduce ourselves first? There's no use trying to build a shelter if we don't know each other's names, because we won't be able to communicate.

Gary: That's a fair point.

Veronica: Okay, I'll start! I'm Veronica and I'm a nurse.

Luca: I'm Luca and I'm an ornithologist, which means I study birds.

Phyllis: (laughs) We're the brains tribe, I'd be pretty shocked if someone didn't know what an ornithologist was. I'm Phyllis and I'm a college professor.

Adrian: I'm Adrian, an aerospace engineer.

Phyllis: You're either very young for an aerospace engineer or you have the most youthful complexion in the world and I'm extremely jealous.

Adrian: (laughing) It's the former. I'm 22, and believe it or not I graduated college at the age of 15.

Constance: (stunned) ...What?

Adrian: I say this wholly without rodomontade and only for statement of fact: my IQ is 140.

Luca: The only thing I understood in that sentence was "my IQ is 140", but jeez. That's impressive.

Adrian: (smiling) Much appreciated. Thank you.

"gombey"

- I must say, the tribe seemed extremely shocked upon learning my IQ. I do have an IQ of 140, which places me in the "gifted" range. In everyday life this presents a problem and places a barrier in terms of socialising and communication. Here, however, my thought process is, on a tribe colloquially known as the "brains", this should not be a worry.I'm hopeful that my incredible smarts can only be advantageous for my tribe in both challenges and camp life, but we shall have to wait and see. I do believe I left a remarkable first impression on them. (laughs)

Gary: Okay, with introductions out of the way, now's the time for shelter work. I think we should split between palm fronds and gathering the supplies. The weaker of us should stay here and weave while the others go into the forest to gather. Phyllis, I'm putting you in charge of palm fronds. I think Luca could join you. Sound good?

Phyllis: (a little taken aback) If that's what you think is best,

Gary: Excellent. Adrian, Veronica, Constance, let's go.

(Adrian, Veronica, Constance and Gary all leave. The camera focuses on Phyllis, who looks extremely annoyed.)

"gombey"

- Many thanks to Gary for just blatantly calling me weak in front of the entire tribe! As if my age weren't enough of a negative label already, that comment is just going to stick like glue in everyone's minds! (sigh) Who gave Gary the authority to lead in the first place? No one I can recall. Mr. Macho Man just walked into camp, thought, (growling voice) "me have penis, me must lead," (normal voice) and just took it upon himself to distribute jobs, giving me palm fronds because I'm the weakest. All I can hope is Gary's leading of the tribe doesn't transition into being at the helm of a majority alliance, which could very well happen right now since he's taken four of the six members into the forest with him. If Gary does form a majority alliance, his views of me are going to be the cornerstone for his strategic thinking and I could very well be in serious trouble.

(Following Phyllis' confessional, the camera picks up again as Luca and Phyllis are weaving palm fronds.)

Phyllis: Surely I can't be the only one irritated with what just happened.

Luca: (shrugs) It is what it is, I guess. He's not exactly wrong, we are two weaker people. My hobby is bird watching, not marathon running.

Phyllis: (not dropping the subject) Even so, he didn't have to call us out so bluntly in front of the entire tribe! It's just so frustrating. I bet, now, that comment sticks in their minds. Well, if he thinks I'm just some weak grandma who's going to roll over and let him push me out, he's got another thing coming!

Luca: (indifferent) True, it is frustrating, but it's only a few minutes into the game. One comment isn't the be all and end all of our games and it's not really something worth stewing over, don't you agree? Getting angry at Gary is just going to make you worse off. As my mother always said, "resentment is like swallowing poison and waiting for the other person to die."

Phyllis: That's a great outlook to have. Okay, if Gary wants me to weave palm fronds, I'll weave him the best fronds he's ever seen in his life. (she begins weaving with new vigor)

Luca: That's the spirit. What was it you said you did for a living earlier?

Phyllis: I teach sociology at college. You said you were an ornithologist, right?

Luca: Yeah, that's me. What got you interested in sociology?

Phyllis: Well, I was always an education-orientated child. From the beginning of elementary school I always excelled in classes and I liked to spend a lot of time in the library. When I was twelve years old I was browsing the non-fiction shelves for something new to read when a sociology textbook piqued my interest. From then on, I fell in love! (laughs) I was hooked on these theories, on these explanations for behaviour within society. I just wanted to learn more and more. This was around the height of Beatlemania. and while teenage girls had their rooms filled with Beatles records and photos of the band, mine was filled with sociology textbooks and pages upon pages of notes.

Luca: Wow, that's quite a story. (laughs) I can picture it now, all the girls around you screaming about the Beatles and you with your head completely buried in a sociology textbook. (he doubles over in laughter) I'm sorry, that's so funny. (clears throat) If you loved sociology so much, why not become a sociologist?

Phyllis: Oh, I have a degree in sociology, but I also combined it with a degree in higher education. I did start out as a sociologist, but I found teaching it to be so much more rewarding. Imparting my knowledge on people and watching them be just as excited as twelve-year-old me was brings a smile to my face.

Luca: What a fantastic story. Unfortunately for you mine isn't filled with so much sentiment and nostalgia. I was just the weird kid at school who liked birds and turned it into a career.

Phyllis: There's nothing weird about that.

Luca: I wish you'd told the kids at my school that. They were all playing football or talking about girls and here I was reading about and watching birds. It's like I had a "kick me" sign taped to my head, and I might as well have, because it happened often enough. (laughs) It is a career now though, and joke's on them, because I've been all around the world studying birds, while I bet all they've done is let the beer belly get bigger and bigger while they laze around watching football on the TV and eating Doritos.

Phyllis: The smart ones always get the last laugh!

Luca: Ain't that the truth! Now let's get back to these palm fronds before Gary has even more of a reason to put a target on our backs.

(The two of them continue working on their task. The camera focuses on Luca, who is laughing.)

"gombey"

- Phyllis is a really nice lady. We had a great conversation about our careers and interests and she was very interesting. It's such a shame that she's being targeted just because of her age, before people get to know her. If they got to know her, I think they'd want her to stick around. I know there's a target on Phyllis' back right now but I hope we either win lots of challenges or peoples' first impressions of her change. She deserves to be around for a while, not leave early for something that's not even her fault.

Polls- During Episode
What do you think of Will? Great character! He's so fun to read Absolute JACKASS! I hope he goes soon!

Author's Notes

 * Adrian's Dictionary: (strange words used by Adrian that you may not know the meaning of)
 * ​Rodomontade: to brag or boast. "wholly free of rodomontade"= without bragging.
 * Writing for Adrian makes my brain hurt, please send help. And no, I don't actually know all these words. I google "synonyms of ___", pick one that sounds formal and look at how it is used in a sentence.