Board Thread:Season Rankings/@comment-9949103-20150904021638/@comment-26485526-20170506202821

Alright people, here are my rankings of the cast of SurvIvory Coast... er... I mean, Survivor: Ivory Coast. Anyway, as always my rankings are based on both their personality and their strategic/social game-play.

18) Orselina Perkins (18th): Orselina was a horrible player from the get-go! She was indecisive and let her morals get in the way of making decisions. Once her first Redemption Island duel started, Byron wiped the floor with her and sent her packing once and for all.

17) John Walker (17th): John is living proof that even complete morons are capable of being the CEO of a company. Once Orselina was gone, Kimberly and Morris chose to lie to John about Byron possibly having an idol. Despite the lie being super obvious, John not only believed them, but he made Byron strip down to his underwear at Tribal, only to flip on his ally anyway!! Then at the very next vote, John's stupidity comes back to bite him as the 2-2 situation forces a rock draw, and it is John that is eliminated. Now on Redemption Island, Byron then impersonates the janitor at one of John's stores as he takes out the trash, and John is eliminated for good.

16) Julie "Panda" Rhodes (15th): Panda was a complete and utter nutjob that nobody really took seriously from the start. At the start of the season, it seemed like she would have felt much better if she was actually filming "adult orientated" nature films with the animal she obsesses over. She only made it as far as she did because Daloa pulled a Matsing and lost every challenge. Just prior to her first Tribal, not only did people see her as an unpredictable nutcase, but she also showed that she was much too close with Riley. As such, she was released back into the wild as everyone clinged onto whatever sanity they had left.

15) Rowena McShane (14th): Another absolute train-wreck of a character that had absolutely no business being cast this season! Not only was she a vegan, but she was also still torn apart by the death of her mother that she was unable to think clearly (especially after Bruce pulled a Butch Lockley and burned down their camp, including a photo of her mom.) Due to the dissolving of Daloa, Rowena found herself in a pretty decent position due to a certain person's obsessive targeting of their new tribe member (which I will get to, don't you worry, my child!) However, once their camp was burned down, it became increasingly clear to everyone that Rowena had absolutely no business being on the show, and they voted her out for the sake of her mental health (even though it was clear on day 1 that she needed a straitjacket). While it was a McShame that I still had to endure that certain obsessive person still being in the game (I had to get that pun in somewhere XD ), I was happy to see Rowena finally gone!

14) Ricky Myers (8th): At this point, instead of going through Ricky's game and reminding us all of the utter crap Ricky put us through, I will illustrate a scenario that basically describes Ricky's game in a nutshell:

Ricky stubs his toe and demands that you give him a wheelchair. When you tell Ricky "No, I will not get you a wheelchair because you stubbed your f***ing toe. Walk it off!" All of a sudden, the conversation takes a sharp left turn as you find that Ricky is now yelling, screaming, and calling you a homophobe, all because you didn't give him a wheelchair after he stubbed his toe. Despite all this, as Ricky yells at you, he is stomping his feet and jumping up and down, proving that said toe is not that bad after all (because why would he be jumping and stomping his feet if he was in that much pain?) When you point this out and try to have a conversation like a normal human, Ricky's toe is suddenly in "more pain than ever" and it is all your fault because you were being homophobic and refusing to give him the wheelchair he asked for. He then screams and cries so loudly that your crazy Aunt Shanniah takes you both aside and tries to find out what happened. Instead of telling the truth and admitting that he merely stubbed his toe, Ricky claims that you took a sledgehammer and broke his foot, which is why he wanted the wheelchair. Crazy Aunt Shanniah then takes Ricky's side, yells at you, and tries to kick you out of the house. However, Superman Simon flies in and saves the day by knocking Ricky out, putting him in a crate, and shipping him to Timbuktu as crazy Aunt Shanniah unleashes her inner Tasmanian Devil in an effort to make both you and Superman Simon wish you were never born. All this because Ricky stubbed his toe and asked for a wheelchair.

In short, the only reason Ricky isn't lower is because he finished much higher than the people already listed, all of whom played objectively terrible games.

13) Morris Gleeson (16th): For the record, I did not like Morris at all in Ivory Coast! That being said however, all of the people lower on the list played objectively terrible games. In addition, I also didn’t care for any of them as characters either. In the beginning, Morris was a character you couldn’t help but feel for a little bit as it seemed like he was destined to go home at the first Tribal Council. However, due to Orselina’s indecisiveness, Morris magically managed to stick around. From that moment on, Morris turned into a stuck-up asshole whose successful survival of the vote got to his head. He then managed to survive the next two votes. First because John proved to be the dumbest CEO in the history of everything, and then he survived the next vote because John picked the wrong rock. When Daloa lost their fourth consecutive challenge however, Kimberly (the person who had been saving Morris all this time) finally had enough of his bullshit and sent him to Redemption Island, where he put on the most childish and disgraceful show (at that point) since Ruben called Josephine a terrorist in Upolu. Byron then mercifully defeated Morris and that was the end of his reign of terror. Morris was not a terrible strategic player by any means, but his childish behaviour and complete arrogance led to him being memorable for all the wrong reasons.

12) Bruce Arthur (9th): Although Bruce was a nice guy at the start of Ivory Coast, he does not know the first thing about subtlety. Bruce started the season as Abidjan’s creepy, pedophile/serial killer looking version of Orselina in that he could not make a decision to save his life. He was quite open about being caught in the middle between the duos of Simon & Shanniah and Wyatt & Kryshelle. If I were Brucey, I’d consider myself very lucky that pre-swap Abidjan never had to go to Tribal Council since I imagine that his indecisiveness may have led to him being targeted early on if they did. But I digress, as soon as Kimberly joined Abidjan, all Hell broke loose as Bruce went on a warpath to get Kimberly out of the game. I understand targeting her, but he made his intentions so obvious, and his obsession to get Kimberly out became so irrational and unreasonable that he was putting both his and his alliance’s games at risk. He is incredibly lucky that Kimberly felt comfortable enough (for whatever reason) to NOT play her idol at Abidjan’s second Tribal Council, where she was blindsided and sent to Redemption Island. But from there, you would think that with Kimberly gone that Brucey would calm down right? WRONG! See, this is where Bruce’s obsession with getting Kimberly out gets completely irrational since he decided that betraying Wyatt, the person that he was closest to for the entire game, was a good idea since the Redemption Island duel MIGHT be a mental challenge, where THEORETICALLY Wyatt would win and get Kimberly out for good. I would say that this plan was a good idea on paper, but no, it really wasn’t since if it was a physical challenge, Wyatt had no chance of ever winning, and Wyatt was also Bruce’s closest friend/ally at the time! By the way, Wyatt was swiftly eliminated by Kimberly at Redemption Island. Then, when Bruce and Kimberly made the merge, all Hell broke loose as Bruce went after Kimberly non-stop and would believe anything anyone ever told him if it meant weakening/targeting Kimberly. At the next vote, Simon mercifully took a .22 and put this rabid dog down, saving the rest of us from more torture.

11) Riley Gordon (11th): It was very difficult to choose between Riley and my number 10 for this spot in these rankings, but I feel like I have to give this spot to Riley for the horrible strategic game he played. At the beginning, Riley was a horrible game-bot that only made one social connection, and that was with Panda… a social connection that he made way too obvious, leading to Panda being Korhogo’s first boot. From that point, game-bot scrambled, and for a while, his scrambling was so over the top and cringeworthy that I almost pleaded for Korhogo to go to Tribal Council and for Riley to go home (even if that meant knowing that I’d have to deal with more Bruce and Rowena on Abidjan). That being said though, somehow, through his scrambling Riley developed into a somewhat likable character when he formed a friendship with Betty-May. Sure, the fact that Riley was likable was largely to do with the words and actions of a certain player that cried homophobe so often that it lost its meaning when he said it, but still. Despite Riley only voting in the majority once… when said “Boy That Cried Homophobe” played his idol (sending Riley to Redemption Island), the fact that I was able to finally find myself rooting for Riley, who developed into someone that fought tooth and nail to stay in the game, allows me to respect him enough to move him up to number 11 in these rankings.

10) Shanniah Torres (6th): As I said in Riley’s write up, I had a hard time deciding where to place him and Shanniah “Vile Hypocrite” Torres. The reason Shanniah gets the nod for my top 10 however is simply because she was a decent strategic player pre-merge. Not only did she find an idol, but she knew what she had to do to play to Bruce’s insecurities and get the numbers in her favour. Then the merge hit, and oh dear, oh very dear! Shanniah turns into a rude, condescending, vile, hypocrite. Anytime someone voices their opinion and says something she disagrees with, she goes off on them and gives them a giant lecture, while sticking her head all the way up the asses of herself, Ricky, and Bruce at one point or another. She becomes so delusional and throws away any and all social relationships with any likable people. At the final six, Shanniah somehow finds herself a swing vote, gets up on her high horse, and starts lecturing people about how to play the game, and being openly indecisive with everybody. It should come as no surprise that Kryshelle had enough of her bullshit and sent Shanniah to the jury. I was honestly at a point where I was hoping Shanniah would make the Final Tribal Council because she was only guaranteed one vote at most, and she would have gotten a proper thrashing from the jury that would have been enjoyable to watch (because I am a horrible person). But once Shanniah was blindsided, as I feared, she gave off the most bitter jury speech of the season! I sincerely hope this utter bitch never returns!

9) Wyatt Hawkins (12th): There’s not much I can say about Wyatt’s game other than the fact that he proved to be good socially, and that he had the potential to do well strategically. Early on, he formed tight bonds with people like Bruce and Kryshelle, and he showed that he had the ability to make calm and rational decisions when he needed to. Unfortunately for Wyatt, he was robbed because of Bruce’s obsessive and unreasonable decision to do anything possible to get Kimberly out of the game, despite her being on Redemption Island, and despite Wyatt being weak in physical challenges. To be honest, I’m surprised that I ended up ranking Wyatt at number 9, but the fact of the matter is that everyone below him was much, much worse!

8) Abraham Chippendale (Co Runner-Up): Abbie was yet another absolutely terrible player in that for some reason, he decided to sign up for a SOCIAL game, yet refused to make any SOCIAL bonds. It just goes to show how terrible his game was given the fact that nobody knew he had a wife until she showed up for the loved ones’ visit! He showed that he was a smart strategic player, but when it came down to it, he had absolutely ZERO social awareness, which meant that a number of people had much more control over the game than Abbie ever did! At least his Final Tribal Council performance was hilarious given the fact that he called a number of jury members “puppets” and bragged about how he orchestrated a number of moves that he definitely did not orchestrate (i.e. Bruce’s blindsides), and a number of moves that he did try to launch ultimately failed! Abraham may have been a bad player, but at least he’s hilariously bad, so as a result, I can’t actually say that I hate him.

7) Jasmine Neely (10th):Jasmine was essentially the complete and total opposite of Abraham in every way. Abbie was a decent strategic player (at times), but a terrible social player. Jasmine of the other hand, was a decent social player, but a completely TERRIBLE strategic player. It is a miracle that she survived Daloa given that she voted in the minority at her first two Tribal Councils, and her new ally, John, went home in the rock draw at the next vote. Then, she only managed to survive Korhogo because Panda and Ricky/Riley screwed up so badly that Korhogo had essentially no choice but to target them. Then, at the first merge Tribal Council, Jasmine gets blindsided. That being said though, she was a great social player that was able to relate to nearly everyone in the cast in some way, and it was purely her social bonds that allowed her to find herself in alliances. One thing that I really liked about Jasmine was her quick wit, her sense of humour, and her willingness to stand up for what she believed in. Unfortunately for Jazzy though, the social bond that she had with Kimberly was one that she made way too obvious, especially with Kimberly having immunity and Bruce’s obsessive targeting of Kimberly, it should come as no surprise that Jasmine became the first member of the jury.

6) Byron Summers (13th): Byron was easily dealt the worst hand of all of the people in Ivory Coast. Wyatt may have been robbed, but Byron was robbed, mugged, and humiliated when felt forced to strip down to his underwear at the second episode! Byron showed great strategic promise from the beginning, and he was a very likable person, but after John bought Morris’s obvious lie, it was Byron that was sent to Redemption Island, despite being Daloa’s strongest challenge performer! From there, Byron fought tooth and nail to stay alive, and he probably would have returned if it wasn’t for Kimberly being sent to Redemption Island because Bruce was being Bruce. Byron had better get a second chance to redeem himself because all of his potential was wasted due to something out of his control!

5) Betty-May Atkinson (5th): Betty-May was a very likable character, and even though she wasn’t that great of a strategist, she was easily the best social player of the season. Her unwavering loyalty to “her girls” was quite admirable, even though it was the reason for her ultimately finishing in 5th place. Not only that, but even though she fought with her morals throughout the game when it came to whether or not to betray someone, people always felt that they could trust her, and she never once appeared indecisive enough that people considered turning the vote against her. Despite her annoying accent (yes, I imagine the characters’ voices when I read), she was a great character that I certainly couldn’t help but root for and I am pleased to place her in my top 5.

4) Winona Kelly (7th): Let’s just get this out of the way right now, Winona MUST return for a future season! Winona was a fantastic character from minute 1! She was sassy, she had a great sense of humour, and she didn’t give a shit what people thought about her! Obviously, the latter contributed to her only finishing in 7th place, but that doesn’t take away from how awesome she was and how much she added to the season. Although Winona found herself in a horrible spot on Korhogo initially, as soon as the swap hit, she was immediately able to pull in Jasmine, find cracks in the majority alliance, and run the game. Once the merge hit however, her social game was atrocious, mostly because she didn’t give a shit what people thought about her, as I mentioned before. It even got to the point where her best friend, Betty-May (aka the most loyal person in the history of ever), felt that she had no choice but to turn on Winona. That being said though, I love how Winona handled her elimination with grace. She realized that she got outplayed and laughed about it. Also, Winona’s jury speech was incredibly awesome, especially the part where she displayed her allergy to bullshit whenever Abbie opened his mouth!! Lastly, the part that I loved most about Winona was how she was able to deal with people like Ricky and Shanniah. The way she responded to them was so hilarious that she actually made the two of them semi-tolerable (mostly because she was the type that said exactly what you wanted to say, but were afraid to). Unfortunately, despite how awesome she was as a character, her truly awful social game means that I just can’t place her any higher.

3) Simon Drysdale (Co Runner-Up): Early on, Wyatt gave Simon the nickname “Superman Simon” and it was very fitting because he did appear to be good at everything. I began rooting for him instantly because he’s the uncle of Jason Drysdale (one of my characters), but it didn’t take long for him to develop into someone I rooted for because he was legitimately a great character that played a decent game. Even though he was 51, he was strong physically, he was easily the best of all the men that made the merge this season at the social game, and especially late in the season, he proved to be strong strategically as well. The only flaw that I found against Simon (which is the reason he falls out of my top 2) is the fact that at the very beginning of the merge, he tried WAY too hard to please everyone. He was way too nice of a person to understand that you are not going to please everyone in the game of Survivor, and unfortunately, that bit him in the ass come the Final Tribal Council. It wasn’t until the final eight where he realized that he needed to step out of the shadows of people like Abbie and the vile hypocrite, and it wasn’t until the final six that he actually began to show just how great of a strategist he really was. As deserving as Kryshelle was to win the game, it’s an utter crime that Simon didn’t receive even 1 vote to win, mostly because that means he has to share “co runner-up” spot with Abbie. UGH!

2) Kimberly Harper (4th): Kimberly proved to be a major threat from day 1 when she saved Morris and manage to completely run the game on Daloa, even though she technically contributed to its demise by allowing their two strongest challenge performers to be eliminated back-to-back. That being said though, Kimberly always seemed to be the focal point of the season and played an amazing game. I would say that she had the most social awareness of everyone this season, but considering that she was blindsided pre-merge with an idol in her pocket, well… let’s just say she became the most improved social player as the season continued. Even though she was a constant target as soon as she came back into the game, she was very calm and handled herself very well, managing to get herself all the way to the final four. Despite that however, the only reasons Kimberly is not in the top spot on these rankings are because she was blindsided pre-merge with an idol in her pocket, and her name is not…

1) Kryshelle Borton (Sole Survivor): If you’ve been paying any sort of attention to my comments regarding this season, you would know that I absolutely adored Kryshelle the entire time! Prior to the start of the season, I felt that Kryshelle was too nice to play the game, and I maintained that perception throughout the pre-merge. But once the merge hit, she seized the opportunity and completely controlled the game! She was often the swing vote and she was a master at getting people into positions where they were forced to trust her! She also knew exactly the right time to cut her allies loose and send them to the jury without completely burning that bridge. Kryshelle’s Final Tribal Council performance was amazing as well in that she owned up to her game perfectly, and was even able to convince the vile hypocrite to vote for her! I just have absolutely nothing but good things to say about Kryshelle and about her game-play, which leaves me absolutely no choice but to place her at number 1!