Thread:UltimateGambit/@comment-1294345-20140516135021/@comment-24306483-20140516160302

Okay, I reread what you have thus far in the episode, and here are some corrections that I think ought to be made:

"To take out Domino, Dante's real, silent ally." I don't think silent is a very accurate word in reference to Domino.

"Dante is very upset of what happened with Katrina." Of should be changed to "about".

You mentioned Louise and Maggie’s discussion about splitting votes twice, once right before the reward challenge, and again right after it. It's a bit redundant.

"How I wished I did this much earlier, but at least, Domino will finally take notice of me not just as a physical person, but a strategical person as well." Doesn't Dahlia currently wish she had done this much earlier?

"She has Mai and Louise, and she thinks [I and Edward] on board as well." The brackets around I and Edward don't make a whole lot of sense, and you're missing the word "are" right after that. Technically, I and Edward should be me and Edward, but the grammar on Survivor isn't always perfect, so that doesn't necessarily have to be fixed.

"That way, Maggie uses her idol and it gets flushed out, and for the record, if Louise and Maggie ties and we get another deadlock, we'll draw rocks." Ties shouldn't be present tense in this context.

"Well, it's a hands down, a fool's errand." This sentence just doesn't make much sense.

Just a few small tweaks are needed. Nothing major. :)

By the way, what do you think of Japan - Civil War so far?