Talk:Ruben Arkley/@comment-32574574-20170801135159

​Honest Profile: 

​I am perhaps the ugliest man to ever play ​Survivor​, but I get attention for that, so I don't really care. My face is in such disarray that I had this cunt's neice play connect the dots with my own pimples. My acne problems are as ongoing as ​Survivor: Egypt - Unfinished Business. I did manage to surprise everyone, by calling a fellow tribe member a terrorist, and still manage to not receive ​any ​votes against me, the entire... fucking... game. How is that possible?

Aside from my comment on Josephine which could've landed me in the Hall of Shame with James Foley, Daniel Pearl, and Otto Warmbier, I almost ejaculated with excitement when I saw another female tribemate have a wardrobe malfunction, and cause 3 minutes of giddiness that I will never forget. I always said I wanted to have sex on an island, and since I can't get pussy, this is close enough. '''​Why the fuck do I look like Gary Oak from Pokémon? '''

​At the Final Tribal Council, the jury scolded me, and rightly so, for being a downright twat. I claim to be the biggest superfan of ​Survivor​, and yet I never even did my homework on How to Win a Million Dollars. I claim that I'll get more jury votes than Stephen Fishbach, which might be the only honest thing about my profile, because three dumb  cunts decided to vote ME ​to win the million dollars. Can we just let that sink in? Me, as the Sole Survivor?! Yeah, I thought so.