Board Thread:Season Rankings/@comment-9949103-20150904021638/@comment-9949103-20180713224238

Gonna revive this for my Nikumaroro Ranking!!!!!!!!!!!

16th: Marvin Torres (14th): In a season of some of the most annoying and unlikeable players on the wiki, this guy somehow manages to bring up the rear. Like, who the fuck was Marvin? I barely even remember him competing on the season and sure as HELL don't remember him having any personality whatsoever. His most memorable moments were him being awkwardly flirted with by Kristin and Summer and being blamed for voting Joseph at the revote of the first Tribal Council. A real stellar resume.

15th: Allen George (13th): Allen was doing nothing more than filling the role of old man jackass this season and he did so with flying colors. Seriously, he checked off all of the boxes of how to be absolutely annoying and despicable. He was delusional and so socially unaware that it was cringeworthy, played way too hard out of the gate, isolated and made several of his tribemates uncomfortable, and was just plain disgusting and gross. Waste of a player, waste of a character, thank God he was a pre-merge boot.

14th: Carole Austin (15th): Speaking on the subject of Allen and his idiocy, here's his favorite little rival on Earhart. Despite some of the satisfaction that I got from seeing Carole constantly call Allen out on his BS, I was more overwhelmed by her stupidity and her inability to keep her mouth shut. To me, all of Carole's problems could have been solved if she had shut up, still rallied people against Allen, and hoped for the best. In that situation, I think it's likely Cassie goes home instead of her at that second Tribal and she could have potentially had three more days at the very least to dig herself out of a hole. But no, we missed out on a character with great potential because she flamed out like an idiot and was a second boot flop of a hag. Bitch bye. Also, speaking of Cassie...

13th: Cassie Diaz (6th): This one is a bit weird since Cassie made it much farther in the game than the prior three. That, however, does not excuse her trash gameplay and even trashier personality. Don't get me wrong, I don't know how she pulled off that Allen vote, but I give her props. I also liked her clashes with Michelle post-swap too. Aside from that, Cassie was a whiny, entitled, and negative brat throughout the entire game and what is most infuriating is that she stayed like that for the entire game. She was a bitch from start to finish and not in the fun, entertaining, way. She was more of a "I want to see this person get voted out and burn in hell" kind of bitch, you feel? Just an awful player and character through and through. Hypocritical as hell too. Matt voting her out was one of the best moments of the season and she completely had all of it coming.

12th: Melissa Alvarez (16th): Sucks for Melissa, but she played way too hard too fast. I feel like she thought that she HAD to use that idol on someone else just because she found it and it played out so well. Damn her backstory, damn all of the potential she had, she threw it all away to save the SUMMER of all people! The vapid cheerleader bitch! Hope her kid is proud of her for that decision. In all seriousness, Melissa is only this low because she was the first boot and she played a pretty bad game in that one episode. Aside from that, she had a very memorable boot and I don't think the move was as bad since voting her out was as equally a bad move for Brandon and Kristin. Still, she sucked pretty bad and I think 12th place is pretty fitting for her.

11th: Brandon Potter (2nd): Oh, where to start with this one? I honestly knew I would hate this crybaby bitch the minute I read his opening confessional about how he wants to be some inspiration to the LGBT community while also telling people to "get over it". Brandon, in spite of his vast knowledge of the game, spent most of his time as Michelle's little lap dog. She told him to jump, he'd asked how high. She makes some gravitous statement? He parrots her every word. Just utterly pathetic. Not only was his gameplay really annoying, especially in regards to him booting my favorite of the season, but him and Michelle also had everything go their way this season. Even after Brandon got rocked out in that awesome final five play, it all went to shit thanks to a BS twist where Brandon gets put back into the game with an advantage. Bull. Fucking. Shit. Nothing could have made me hate a character more. This Mary Sue did have some redeeming qualities at the end. I was happy that he took Matt to the end and effectively saved the season and I also liked getting the satisfaction of him being ripped apart at the FTC, but that's not enough to put him above Michelle.

10th: Michelle Maverick (3rd): It pains me that Brandon and this witch were pretty much the two main characters of this season because they were probably the biggest source of the unlikability for me. Unlike the other big character that I hated, I despised Michelle from episode 1. She and Brandon shoehorned her being a pagan, or a "witch" as they would always stupidly called it, into about every confessional and it got real old, real fast. On top of that, Michelle was an even bigger Mary Sue than Brandon. Everything went her way until the final three. If this was because of her stellar gameplay or Kim Spradlin-esque control of other people, I could give her some credit. But at least half of this control was just because of pure luck and twists, the biggest being when her closest ally gets voted out only to come back into the game with an advantage on his shoulders. SO. MUCH. FUCKING. HORSESHIT!!!!!!!! And then when Brandon gets the good sense to vote her out at three, she fucking goes into a tirade and tries to guilt-trip and mentally abuse him into changing his mind. And when he doesn't? She rails against him at jury and gives one of the most hypocritical jury speeches ever. Michelle played a deceitful game. She turned on almost all of her allies and lied a countless amount of times. This is all a part of the game and I have no problem with this. However, the way she came down on Brandon for doing these things when she herself did the EXACT same things was just the cherry on top for me. Utterly despicable, I just can't stand her. And I know that I've stated this multiple times, but I'm just trying to hammer it in. This goes beyond my dislike of people like Miranda, David, Danielle, and Ian. Like Dorothy, Michelle was an awful character, a waste of a casting slot, and I never want to see her wrinkly face on another season again. Let her stay at home with her cats watching reruns of Sabrina the Teenage Witch.

9th: Olay Jordan (5th): A somewhat controversial pick, but I think that, like Michelle, this one should be expected. I could go on and on about how I hate this annoying tryhard. Brandon may have been a parrot to Michelle, but Olay was a complete parrot of Ika Wong and after the merge is really when this started to get under my skin. Before the merge, I loved the girl! She was entertaining, not TOO prominent but still a big character, and I liked where she was going in the game. However, after Morgan's boot, her personality slowly started to turn around and get on my last nerves. Looking back, I honestly am getting tired of the archetype that Olay was to fill. Like, if I really wanted to, I could have just gone back to Myanmar, read about Bianca, and I would have gotten the same experience, if not better since Bianca is WAYYYYYYYY better than Olay. Not only was Olay really annoying, but she was also an incredibly BAD player. Like aside from Cassie's and Brandon's exits, I can't think of one smart decision the girl made all season. Guess she was too busy shouting generic ghetto phrases at us and trying to convince the audience that she was actually interesting and worth a damn to actually, you know, try and play a good game.

8th: Morgan Getz (11th): I still love her oreo hair as Pineapple called it<3 You know its bad when I start having to rank people based on looks but given the atrocious gameplay, personalities, or both of numbers 9-16, this is where Morgan ends up. Morgan had a lot of potential and I liked her a lot in her time playing the game. The thing that I struggle with the most is how memorable she was. Her boot was certainly memorable, but aside from that I didn't get much personality from her, which is why I remember her solely as oreo hair! Still, I liked what she had to bring to the table and I am usually a sucker for the Liza boot of the season, and Morgan is clearly in that archetype so I do somewhat like her.

7th: Kline Kennedy (12th): Like Morgan, this is more of a case of me not remembering this person as much. I liked what Kline had to say in the first episode and thought he was playing a pretty good UTR game in the midst of all the Earhart craziness. I think him voting Allen out based on Cassie's one side of the story was REALLY stupid but given his potential and his tragic exit, I'm filling to be a bit more lenient with him since I fully expected him to be our boring young male douchebag of the season. If he got a second chance in another season, I would not be opposed to it.

6th: Dante Carlos (9th): Again, this is more of him being better than the people before him, not really anything that he himself did. Dante, like Kline, did a pretty good job maneuvering through the Earhart tribe. I liked his story and what he had to say when he did get confessionals, which wasn't too often. He wasn't anything special and I think he made a big mistake in limiting his options to Allen and Olay at the start, but he wasn't super OTT or incredibly unlikeable so I'll give him that.

5th: Lachlan Hawkins (7th): Oh, Lachlan. In any normal season this meh douche would be sitting near the bottom of the pack. But in a season with Michelle, Olay, Brandon, Allen, and that one guy who went out third, Lachlan is bumped up to number 5. Even though there were points where I legitimately did not like Lachlan, I can say once again that he is not nearly as annoying as the other half of the cast. He had some cute moments with Summer and I think he did make the right call at the Kristin vote if you take him targeting Olay next out of the equation. He was very "meh" for me most of the way, but I never remember a moment where I hated his guts. So I guess he gets fifth then? Yeah, sure.

4th: Joseph Peters (10th): And now we can FINALLY get into the people that I legitimately like. From the moment that he was released in the cast reveal, I was sure that Joseph would be some OTTN flop during the first episode. I mean, the conservative and religious old man is not a demographic that usually does well in Survivor, so I was fully expecting him to be a forgettable first boot. So I was quite pleasantly surprised to see that not only did he survive the first vote and make it all the way to the merge, but he also became a very well-rounded and likable character, showing insecurities and open-mindedness in spite of his struggles with his Christianity. Hell, that's the whole reason he took the temptation! Given that "old people" never usually last long in Wafflez's seasons, I think that he was a breath of fresh air. The only reason he's below my other three are that he didn't make it as far as them and he was not the greatest player in terms of strategy and sociability.

3rd: Summer Wilcox (4th): Looking back to the end of the first episode, having Summer at the number three is crazy. But it's happening, and I was SO satisfied with the arc that she got throughout the season. Starting out, Summer was nothing more than a pretty girl with a spoiled attitude. She didn't seem to care about anything other than tanning with Kristin, flirting with Lachlan, and whining in every other spare moment of her time. But slowly and surely, her edit started to show more positivity and we saw her get put in a worker role, something of which she hated but still took on and I found that very relatable and very humorous. Unlike Cassie, Summer didn't sit back and play the role of the spoiled brat all season. She changed for the better and even though her stock went down for me with that AWFUL decision to vote out Olay at 5, I still love her nonetheless and think she was one of the few positive standouts from this season.

2nd: Matt Brody (1st): Ugh, I love MATT<3 Such a fun character, so easygoing and chill, not the greatest strategist by any means but I think he still made some iconic plays throughout the season. Him turning on Cassie was the best and playing the idol at the un-merge was super epic as well. But, even more, his personality just shined so brightly as this beam of positivity all season. With all the drama, tension, and annoying Ika followers running around, having someone as flaky and chill as Matt take home the win really helped boost the season up for me. To me, Matt's win saved the season as there wasn't ever one moment where I was like "I'm kind of annoyed with Matt". Unlike Lachlan and Summer, I was in on Matt the whole game and am proud to see him take home the win!<3

1st: Kristin Yi (8th): Honestly, this ones a little hard to write because it will probably just make me even angrier about her exit. To me, Kristin was by far the best character of the season and everything I want in a Survivor player. She ticked all of the boxes. Firstly, she completely shattered my pregame expectations for her. Like Joseph, I had no faith in Kristin being any kind of favorite of mine. She seemed like a basic bitch or an early boot trainwreck waiting to happen. However, after the first episode, she showed me that I was clearly wrong and that she came to play. Awkwardly flirting with Marvin for a vote<3 Turning on Melissa like an idiot<3 Like, she made a bad move out the gate but I can forgive it because of her bubbly and aggressive personality. She was so fun, yet she also had a good sense of the strategic game as well. My favorite characters always tend to be people who have the capability to play the game but are also a very fun and interesting character. Kristin was just that and, even though I love Matt, KRISTIN SHOULD HAVE WON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!