Board Thread:Season Rankings/@comment-9949103-20150904021638/@comment-27391152-20180715045135

Tozza6 wrote: Unlike last time I did one of these, this time I'm going to be basing this on a mix between personality and gameplay, although personality will likely shine through more. Just a reminder that I give very little weight towards placement so just because someone makes it far/didn't make it far, doesn't mean they'll be higher/lower on this list. So without further ado... here we go!

18th: Gwen Christianson (16th) Words cannot describe my disdain for this bitch. Way to be the poster child for overly sensitive introverts because you did a horrific job. My God, if I had a dollar for every time this girl whined or cried, I would be richer than her trying to say Celia was using her sexuality as an excuse for her behaviour. Like, HELLO? Where you not the one tryna say that nobody can speak badly of you because you were bullied in fucking high school? Give. me. a. break. There are -1 positive things I can say about this girl so how about we just leave this victim-playing monstrosity of a character behind and move on to the people that at least made one contribution to the game that didn't send me into a tozztrum in the comment section.

17th: Gary Wright (17th) Honestly, there's not a whole bunch I remember about this guy other than the fact that he severely overplayed and had the personality of a stick. Like, the fact that I genuinely have no recollection of anything he did is surely saying something about how memorable of a character he was. His weird obsession with getting Phyllis out was really stupid because it instantly alienated a member of his tribe right off the bat. Not only that, but he essentially corraled the rest of the tribe into an alliance JUST to get Phyllis out, which meant he pretty much guaranteed him to be the target if people wanted to keep Phyllis around. He was just, all around, a terrible player and a worthless character. Thank God you were sent home before you could transform into the awful gamebot you would've surely become.

16th: Xavier Richardson (13th) When the most memorable thing about the guy is the conspiracy theory that he was the secret fourth LGBT contestant, you know he wasn't a very good character. Xavier was essentially just a loyal follower to whomever he felt he had the closest connection to; first Gwen, then Ryan, then Isla. And while I'm usually a fan of anyone who enables Isla, he was just such a non-entity that I couldn't muster up any sort of emotion towards him. The only times I remember having an opinion on him was when he defended Gwen, which was just *eyeroll*. As for his actual gameplay, it was virtually non-existent other than the fact that he somehow managed to have his closest ally going home at each Tribal Council he attended lmao. Yeah, not much else I can say about this snoozefest.

15th: Veronica O'Hara (2nd Runner-Up) If this ranking was based solely on gameplay, she'd be dead last. If this ranking was based solely on how much I like them, she'd probably be higher than the two people she sat next to in the end. But alas, I decided to mix the two and this is where she ended up. Probably a little high since I don't ACTUALLY like her and many of the things she said were either straight-up disgusting, cringe-worthy or both. With that being said though, I just don't hate her. Maybe it's because I want to be controverchele, maybe it's because she gets so much shit that I feel just a little bit bad for her? Oops, I just said that publically, didn't I? Okay, I feel like I'm rambling here so let's get to the point. Yes, she's an awful human being, BUT, there are parts of her I did appreciate. Firstly, she constantly bitched about Phyllis and aired ALL of my frustrations about her which I was very thankful for. Secondly, she did try to save the season by voting for Jacob to stay at the Final 4, although, I'm still pissed she waited so long side with him but whatever. All in all, terrible human, god-awful player, but I think her general OTT-ness and few redeeming qualities bump her up a few places.

14th: Bailey Prince (15th) After going back and looking over my comments from the earlier episodes, I'm surprised to see that I actually didn't mind Bailey at one point because omg he was a nightmare. His entire strategy was based on not pissing off Will because he was scared of him... let's just let that sink in a second. If I'm going to shit on Gwen for playing the victim, then I have to do the same for Bailey because Will really didn't do anything wrong to him, but for whatever reason, every conversation Bailey had with him left Bailey shaking in his boots. It was kinda just pathetic not only strategically, but as a character too. He does have a few redeeming qualities like his lolzy relationship with Jacob when it was obvious Bailey was a thirsty little blueberry that didn't want to admit it ;). Other than that though, he was pretty insignificant and had no strategic game to make up for it so.... 14th it is!

13th: Phyllis Carmichael (Runner-Up) Okay, so as much as I really don't like her as a person, I'm gonna start with some clarifications on why she is so high: if she didn't bring up her fiance at the FTC, she likely would've won the game. Celia would've voted for her, causing a 4-4-1 tie, where Luca no doubt would have voted for her over Will. That really is the reason she is not dead last in this ranking because everything else about her was just laughable! I think part of the reason I despise her so much is that, in spite of having a horrendous strategic game ever, the edit made her look like a genius! Tangle, if you had've shown people bashing her, laughing at her in confessionals, and talking about how big of a goat she was, I think I could've retroactively appreciated her as a hilariously delusional hag, but because that didn't happen, it pissed me off so. fucking. much. I felt as though I had to be the one to let everyone know just how illogical her decisions were, which only festered my hate for her even more. She had absolutely no sense of timing; for whatever reason, she was constantly under the impression that if she didn't do ____ RIGHT NOW, ____ will win the game and there's nothing anyone could do about it. Her jury management was awful (yet somehow the best of everyone in the Final 3), never realising that constantly flipping on people would piss people off in the end. Not to mention, despite being such a clear goat, she STILL managed to be a target throughout the entire end-game and managed Veronica so poorly, that she sent her to fire for absolutely no reason at the end. The one thing she managed to do correctly was convincing Luca that she could be trusted when she clearly couldn't. Just, all around, a perfect example of why gamebots never win the game. Good riddance.

12th: Ryan Huang (14th) I think Ryan is the perfect example of what I was saying about Phyllis. While both of them were game bots, the fact that it was made so obvious just how bad Ryan was at the game meant that I could appreciate him as an OTT delusional mess that was so in over his head that it was funny. Back on Brawn, he could not for the life of him just stay calm and shut up! He was in a perfect swing position between two duos, but over the course of episode 3, somehow managed to not only land himself on the bottom of that tribe but didn't even manage to accomplish his goal at Tribal Council! And despite all that, he STILL thought he was the greatest player to ever touch foot on the island XD. At the swap, he wasn't all that much better; making an enemy out a much better player in Will, who subsequently orchestrated his blindside. In spite of his horrid strategic game, he did provide some entertainment during his short stay and for that reason, I feel I can justifiably bump him up a couple spots.

11th: Kelsie Ford (18th) And I don't even particularly like her! I'm not quite sure how, but Kelsie has cockroached her way all the way up to 11th and you'd think I'd have a lot to say about her to make up for this shockingly high ranking for a first boot. IDK, I guess everyone below her was just so atrocious that she got placed here by default. Kelsie was a pretty meh player. She got into a bit of a power struggle with Will and picked a fight with Isla; neither a which are a great look for her. In terms of her personality, I liked that she had a little bit of spunk to her, but overall, she didn't leave much of an impression on me. Plus, I am the biggest Isla stan in existence so it doesn't help her case that she tried to target her right off the bat :P. But yeah, that's all I really have to say. Again, I don't give much weight to placement, so since she was a pretty average player and character, she's getting a pretty average ranking. Nothing more to it. Continuing this ^_^

10th: Constance Vaughn (11th) Okay, so, because my lazy ass decided not to continue this I actually had to go back and read some of my rants about Constance to re-fester my general dislike for her. One of my favourite quotes about her is "Okay, fine, I'll correct myself. Constance is a gamebot except for all the times she's bitching about how much she hates Isla and cares about Adrian." Pretty much sums up her character nicely. The only thing she added to the game besides her inability to make logical decisions was her relationship with Adrian, which I didn't even care for and was far less interesting than Adrian and Jaocb (<3). Also, her blatant jealousy of Isla was not a cut look. Besides her personality, she played an okay game but nothing to be proud of. She overplayed a lot pre-merge, especially flipping on Gary to save Phyllis (look how that came back to bite her <3<3<3) and she really didn't do much else that I can remember. Bye bitch.

--- TOP HALF ---



Next clue: How have I not cut him yet?