User blog:MightyUke416/A Story - You Matter

Hey people,

Today I was at an alumni dinner for former members of the Youth Parliament of Manitoba (YPM), an organization I was part of before I joined the wiki. Once the dinner was done, most of us went to the Manitoba Legislature as speeches from the current executives of the Youth Parliament were about to start (as this is the last day of the annual 5-day session). As inspiring and motivating as those speeches were however, that's not the reason I'm writing this blog. Instead, I came to realize something more important from someone that I used to be in the organization with (his name is Joey), who had just finished his time in the organization last year and was the alumni clerk for the final sitting.

Let's rewind the clock back to the year 2010. I was 17 and in my grade 12 (senior) year of high school, and a young woman named Jen had made a recruitment presentation to my high school's youth parliament group for the Youth Parliament of Manitoba. I thought the organization sounded cool, and I remembered seeing something about it on the news the year before about it, and it is for youth aged 16-20. I thought about it for about a week, and decided that I wanted to join. There was a catch though, I found out that about 100 youth could potentially be attending this 5 day session at the Manitoba Legislature, and we were to spend the nights in the basement of a nearby high school. Despite attending a YouthLeader retreat through my church the year before, I was still very anxious and awkward, and this awkwardness and fear of going to this session with almost 100 people and not knowing a single person is the one thing that was holding me back. I had talked with other people in my Youth Parliament group in high school, and the ones that wanted to go were all 15 (not old enough), or they had other commitments over Boxing Week, or they simply didn't want to give up their Boxing Week - their one full week off from school - to do something they perceived to be "nerdy/educational." I was still somehow drawn to this thing though, so I then started talking to other friends I had, one of them being Joey, who I met at the YouthLeader retreat the year before. I was so scared about not knowing anybody at this thing, and Joey - my best chance at knowing someone there - was humming and hawing, seeming interested, but not sure. I started pestering him on Facebook (while trying and likely failing to not appear too desperate). The deadline for the application is drawing nearer, and this was back in the day when they only let you send it in through snail mail, and I just started to panic and sent it in because Joey said he was "most likely" going to do it. Turns out, Joey sent his application in a day or so late, but they accepted him in anyway (there were only 49 youth that year total, despite my panic that there would be 100).

Through the next few years, Joey and I both progressed in the organization. In 2013 though, we were both aging out, and there was one open executive spot, which you had to be elected in by the membership, and that is the only way people above age 20 could remain in the organization. Joey and I both ran for the position against 2 other people, and Joey won, meaning that he got to stay in the organization, while I officially "aged out" in February 2014 (the end of the organization's fiscal year). Joey progressed through the organization, while I came back each year as a clerk (except this year because work commitments), and unfortunately, Joey and I gradually fell out of touch, only seeing each other about once a year, during session time.

For the next few years, I really started to question where I stood in this world, and even though I had other friends from school and the organization, that still wasn't a huge number. I mentioned before on this wiki how I have been battling depression, and there were brief moments in my life where I have thought "nobody would miss me if I died." or "I don't matter, I didn't even leave a mark on YPM, the one place I felt I had a purpose." Although my experiences with suicidal thoughts are fleeting moments in the grand scheme of things, I have to acknowledge that yes, they happened, because that's the reality of where my mental state was.

You guys are probably all wondering what the point of all this is, and that's what I am getting to right now. I went to that Alumni Dinner tonight to catch up with people I haven't seen in ages, and I went to the legislature to support the current YPM executives as they made their speeches. Just after the speeches concluded though, because I have work in the morning and couldn't stay for executive elections, I went up to Joey to wish him well and say good-bye. At this point though, Joey looked at me and thanked me for changing his life. I was confused and asked him what he was talking about, and he said "You kept me on track to come here [to YPM]. I had heard about the organization before, and they wouldn't let me in because I was too young, so I basically was like 'screw you guys.' I was seriously considering not coming, but you changed my mind, so thank you."

Remember what I had said earlier in this story:

"I was so scared about not knowing anybody at this thing, and Joey - my best chance at knowing someone there - was humming and hawing, seeming interested, but not sure. I started pestering him on Facebook."

My reasons for spamming Joey's inbox on Facebook were purely selfish. Neither of us knew what the organization had in store for us at that point, and I just wanted someone there that I knew. Joey had thanked me before for keeping him on track to go, and I remember he had mentioned that he had heard of YPM before. We both credit the Youth Parliament for changing our lives in various ways because of what it gave to us. But what I didn't realize was that all this time, he credited that change in his life, not to the Youth Parliament, but to me because I spammed his inbox to get him to apply so he could go. When Joey said that to me, it helped me realize that in a roundabout way, I did change the organization. Joey beat me for the executive election and went on to hold all 5 executive positions, including Premier (Chair-person), and he excelled in each of those roles. If I didn't spam Joey's inbox, and he chose not to join, then Youth Parliament wouldn't have been gifted his presence, and Joey wouldn't have been gifted Youth Parliament.

What does this mean for you? Joey's words showed me in a real way that every single action that we take in our lives has meaning and purpose, and as a Christian, I truly believe that God has a plan for each and every one of us. Funny thing is, I met Joey during a YouthLeader retreat the year before we started YPM. YouthLeader is a Catholic retreat, and Youth from Catholic churches or Catholic schools went there... Joey is an atheist. He only went to YouthLeader because he was going to a Catholic school and he was part of their Human Rights club, which sent its members. In no universe would you imagine an atheist attending a retreat for Catholic youth hosted by Catholic churches, yet it happened in 2010. If Joey hadn't attended YouthLeader, we never would've met, he might not have attended Youth Parliament, and for all I know, I probably wouldn't have either because I only attended due to the chance Joey would be there.

The reason I am telling this story is because I know there are a lot of youth on the wiki, and some of you are struggling in different ways, perhaps trying to figure out who you are or your purpose in life. Don't underestimate yourself, don't and don't undersell your value. You really do matter, and even the littlest things that might seem insignificant to you could have a profound effect on somebody else. Something that I thought was purely selfish like spamming Joey's inbox asking if he was going to Youth Parliament, kept us both on track to attend the sessions year after year, where the organization did its magic on us.

Even today, with Joey crediting me that I changed his life, I can't read minds and don't know how significant he thought it was, but it was something that I needed to hear. Unfortunately, he now lives in Vancouver, BC and I'm still living here in Manitoba, but I really do hope that this day is a pivotal point in our friendship too and that we can be in touch more often. More importantly though, I hope that through this, it helps at least one person realize that they do have a purpose here, how much they really do matter, and just how significant even some of your smallest actions can be to someone else.

Thank you all for reading that, and I hope you have a happy and blessed 2019.

Sincerly,

Uke