User blog comment:Coolio15/Season 5 Castaway Applications (Closed)/@comment-32574574-20170821232146

Name (Age): ​Don Francis (70)

Tribe Designation: TBD

Current Residence: ​Taos, NM

Occupation: ​Bar Manager

Personal Claim to Fame: ​​Putting up with over 50 years of piss-poor employees, god awful customers, and over 450 bar fights and counting, and not even considering suicide.

Inspiration in Life: ​I have none. I'll be straight-up with you, my father was an alcoholic bastard, and my mother died giving birth to my younger brother. The person I respect the most in my life would have to be my wife, Carol of 48 years, thank god, for putting up with all my crap, and always looking on the bright side of life.

Hobbies: ​Anything but Work! And you're probably wondering, "Hey asshat, why don't you just quit your job then?", my answer to them is always, "The bills aren't going to pay themselves!"

Pet Peeves: ​(​cracks knuckles) aaaaannnd go! I absolutely HATE anyone who decides to start drama for no reason at all. Considering I've hired and fired people within days, I'm just done with everyone blowing smoke up my ass!

Three Words to Describe You: ​Honest, Decomposing, and oh, so Dreamy!

SURVIVOR Contestant You Are Most Like: Next!

Reason for Being on SURVIVOR: ​I'm sick and tired of having to work 9 to 5 at a bar full of wasted divorced moms and skanky horseface 21-year olds for 6 days a week! Let me ask you something, when has someone opted to be on an island for over a month, without pay, and actually lived?!

Why You Think You’ll “Survive” SURVIVOR: ​​​​I've built, managed, and owned my business for 50 plus years, and I've dealt with every type of person you could imagine. I spent more than half a century stroking people's egos better than Monica Lewinsky could stroke President Clinton! If I have to put up with 15 more inbred, delusional, entitled American meatheads, I'll make it out in one piece.

Why You Think You Will Be the Sole SURVIVOR: ​Believe it or not, social skills is my strongpoint. Don't get me wrong, I'll be verbally tearing each of my tribemates a new one in those confession-thingies, but I'm not afraid to put on a mask if it means getting further in the game. For the millionth time, this is nothing new to me, as I've had to cheer up deluded people worse than the STDs they give to each other. For a million dollars, if you asked me to kill someone, I'd ask who.