Good Bye, Good Night, and Good Riddance

This is the 1st episode of Survivor: Man vs Machine

Challenges
Reward and Immunity Challenge: Bang, Clunk, and Snap Castaways must climb their way up a giant skeleton. Along the way, they will find bags, which they just collect by breaking the bones of the skeleton using a pick axe. Once the reached the skull, they must complete the puzzle which formed an eyeball. Once the puzzle is complete, they roll down a chute and into the skull to win. Winner:

Day #1
(The show opens to the beautiful oceans of Fiji. It remains that way for a couple seconds before planning over two motorboats, each one containing 9 americans. Jeff flyes above them in a helicopter.)

Jeff Probst:We are here once again in the beautiful islands of Fiji, where 18 Americans are about to begin the adventure of a lifetime!

(The film cuts to Johnny, a red headed blogger with a cruel and cutthroat streak, and his confessional.)

"tamata"

- HOLY FU**! I’m actually on Survivor! Little ol’ me! On Survivor! This is crazy! I can’t wait to start making friends then cutting their throats. I came to win, this isn’t playtime anymore.

(The camera moves to Johnny’s right, where a blonde woman attempts to hide her face to avoid being recognized.)

"tamata"

- I’m a radio personality, so my biggest fear in this game is being caught, because if anyone recognizes me, my game is screwed and I’m bound to go home.

(After Hazel’s first confessional, the camera quickly pans over to the other boat, and focuses in on obnoxious bad boy, Coley.)

"simini"

- Clearly I am going to win. With my athletics, my tribe will never go to Tribal Council. We can pick off the other tribe one by one, then I’ll take the two most pathetic goats to the end with me. Every one else will get voted out. It’s foolproof!

(Across from Coley, an elderly woman is having a problem similar to Hazel’s)

"simini"

- I am Lily Manchez, the senator for Nevada. I’m going to have to subtly figure out where everyone is from because if ANYONE figures out that I’m a fu***** senator, I might as well snuff my own torch.

Jeff Probst: These castaways will be forced to battle the elements and each other. They will have to adapt, or they'll be voted out. 39 DAYS, 18 PEOPLE, ONE...SURVIVOR!!

(The camera zooms out every few seconds until the intro plays. Once the intro ends, it cuts to the boats pulling up to a large yacht. Both tribes get onto the yacht.)

Jeff Probst:(waits until motorboats drive away) Alright! Welcome to Survivor: Man vs Machine! (waits for both tribes to finish cheering) Woman in the front with the pink hair, what's your name?

Lesli:(raises her hand) I'm Lesli.

Jeff: Lesli, what tribe do you think you are on, and what do you make of the rest of your tribe?

Lesli: Well, based on my own occupation, I would say we are the Man tribe, and I think that because the machines are usually all cooped up indoors with a bunch of tech, our odds are high.

(Jeff and the rest of the Mans laugh, but Andrew, a retired marketing executive from the Machines tribe, crinkles his nose in distaste.)

Jeff: Guy with the coat, you are not happy with Lesli's comment.

Andrew: My name is Andrew. I do not like her comment in the least, but I don't blame her. The only old guys she's ever met probably run away from her due to her lack of importance.

(Snickers are heard around the yacht. Lesli's face reddens.)

"simini"

- I think I heard there was a priestess on our tribe, so I am going to find her and through her I shall pray to god Andrew is first out. GOD, he is annoying!

(Lesli's confessional is quickly followed by Andrew's)

"tamata"

- Lesli is a spoiled little brat, and I wish we were on the same team so that I can personally ensure that she gets eliminated.

Jeff: Alright, you'll have 2 minutes to get all the supplies you need for island life and get off the boat. However, if you are on the boat after two minutes, your team will be penalized at the first immunity challenge. Ready..GO!!

(Pandemonium. Andrew grabs two cages of chickens. Amber, a lesbian chef, cuts her tribe raft free. Zeke, an arrogant bodybuilder, grabs a large crate of fruit. In the chaos, no one notices a package hidden behind a tool kit. Max, a nerdy news anchor, takes the toolkit, leaving the package sitting in plain sight until...

Amanda notices it, picks it up, stuffs it in her bra, and keeps moving.

Jeff: 15 seconds!

(People begin leaping off the yacht, until only Coley and Andrew remain.)

Jeff:Coley and Andrew, you have 5 seconds!

(Andrew jumps off and Coley grabs a watermelon and begins to run to the edge to jump.)

Jeff:Time is up! Coley, your tribe will be penalized at the first immunity challenge. Now JUMP!

(Dejected, Coley jumps off with the watermelon)

Jeff:Head to camp tribes. A crew member will fire a flare the color of your tribe. Machine tribe, here are your buffs(tosses them to Lesli) and Man tribe, here are your buffs.(tosses them to Amber) Good luck!

"simini"

- HOLY CRAP!!!! I found an advantage on the boat! I have seen the previous seasons, so it could be a Legacy Advantage! I will open it at camp once the time is right, but all I know right now is that I hold a lot of power in my bra.(laughs)

(The show cuts to commercial break..)

Simini/Man Tribe

(The Man tribe arrive on their beach and start cheering.)

Debrah: We made it guys! Woohoo!

(Simini cheers louder.)

Coley:I just want to say that I am sorry I got us penalized, I just thought an extra watermelon might be a good morale boost down the line.

Lily: It's fine, Coley. Hey, why don't we start with some introductions?

Joanne: Great idea! I'll go first. My name is Joanne Norindo, I am 35, and I am a priestess.

(Mutters of approval spread around the tribe.)

Zeke: I'm Zeke, and I'm a SMOKING HOT BODYBUILDER!!!!!

(A few people laugh. Lily looks anxious.)

"simini"

- Nobody is saying where they are from, which is quite nerve-racking. If anyone here is from Nevada, I am screwed. So I need to give incentive for people to say where they are from.

Lily: I'll go next. My name is Lily, I am from Carson City, and I am a teacher.

Arnold: Cool! Anyway, I am Arnold Weinsteen, I am a zookeeper from St. Louis, Missouri!

(The contestants continue to introduce themselves: Amanda is a 20 year old hairstylist, Debrah is a retired lawyer,

Lesli is a river guide, and Joseph is a camp director.)

Coley: I am Coley, I'm 30 years old, and I am single and unemployed.

(The camp is clearly shocked)

Joseph: I am sorry to hear that, man.

Coley: It's fine. Maybe I will talk about it later, but for right now, we should start working. I will build a shelter.

Debrah: I will go fill everyone's canteens.

Joseph:I will try to get a fire going with my glasses.

Lesli:Ok, everyone else, lets help Coley with the shelter.

Amanda: In a moment. I have to go use the bathroom first.

(Amanda goes into the ocean, but in a location where she is out of sight. Everyone else gets to work. Once Amanda is sure no one sees her, she pulls out the package she found on the ship.)

"simini"

- On the ship, I found this little package marked Advantage. I hid it in my bra. Now it's time to open it and see what I have gained.

(Amanda unties the package and produces a large, rounded piece of black obsidian with a note.)

Amanda: (reading the note) "Congratulations, you have found a Hidden Immunity Idol..." Oh my fu***** god. (tears up and reads note) "This is an idol with power. You can play this vote after the votes are read, and you may play it on whoever you choose." Holy s***, this is huge. Oh my god, I gotta hide this(stuffs idol and note back into bra and heads back to camp to start helping on shelter)

"simini"

- Holy f***, holy f***, holy f***!!!!! I found a super idol! This is HUGE! I hold so much power right now, it's crazy. The game has begun, and I intend to win it.

(The scene fades out with a shot of smiling Amanda heading back into camp.)

Tamata/Machine Tribe

(The show resumes on a shot of the Machine tribe walking into their camp.)

Lydia: Here at last fam! Woop Woop!

(Tamata begins to chatter excitedly. During the talking Max strolls over to Hazel.)

Max: (whispering)I know who you are. Meet me in the forest after introductions.

(Max walks away to talk with others, leaving Hazel flustered and cursing silently.)

"tamata"

- OH COME ON!!!!!! We aren't even here for a full minute and I am already recognized. This is going great. That said, the guy who recognized me is as much as a disadvantage as me. I know he is a wealthy news anchor, so hopefully I can use that to my advantage.

Amber: Lets do intros! I’m Amber, a lesbian chef from Colorado!

(The tribe claps.)

Taylor: WHATS UP BROCHACHICHOS AND BROCHACHICHAS!!!! I’m Taylor and I’m an architect!

(The tribe cheers loudly, except for Derek)

Derek: It’s brochachos and brochachas, not brochachichos and brochachichas, idiot.

Taylor: Jeez Man, I was just trying to get people all happy and cheering.

Derek: Then do it right, dumba**

Taylor: What the hell is your problem?!?

Samantha: Enough, both of you! Let’s move on. I’m Samantha, and I’m a nurse.

Hazel: I am Hazel, and I am a photographer.

Max: (proudly)I’m Max, and I do stand up puns.

Lydia: Really? Cool! Can you tell us one now?

Max: Sure! Um...did you hear about the Italian chef who died?

(The tribe shakes their head no.)

Max: He PASTA way!

(The tribe laughs. Lydia falls over and laughs hysterically. Hazel’s eyes flip from Lydia to Max.)

"tamata"

- Ok two things. One: Thank god Max didn’t reveal who I am. Perhaps we can form an alliance to keep our secrets safe. Second: Lydia is totally insane. Max’s pun was funny, but it wasn’t funny enough to laugh like THAT. Something tells me she won’t get very far in this game.

(The rest of the tribe introduced themselves. Lydia is a robot builder, Johnny is a blogger, and Andrew is a retired marketing executive, and Derek is a college student.)

Samantha: Ok, lets get to work. Max and Johnny, try to start a fire with your glasses. Lydia, Taylor, Derek and I will start building the shelter. Hazel and Max, you two fill the canteens and try to find some food. Let’s go people! (As the tribe disperses, Samantha enters a confessional.)

"tamata"

- I just have a natural instinct to be a leader. It’s just something I was born with. I hope it doesn’t make me looks like the pushy grandma of the tribe, because if it does, they’ll vote me out immediately.

(Max and Hazel go to get water.)

Hazel: Well, Samantha seems to be the leader. I’m fine with that.

Max:Yeah, but it might wear everyone down eventually.

(There was an awkward silence for a few moments.)

Max: So, I am a huge fan of your show, and I am willing to keep your secret, but you got to something for me.

Hazel: (smirking) Keep yours?

(Max is clearly surprised.) Hazel: Oh don't look surprised. Any fan of your show could recognize you immediately. I'll keep your secret, but you better keep mine. Max: Deal. (shakes hands with Hazel. Before the commercial, they each get a confessional.)

"tamata"

- Hazel seems trustworthy. But if she blows me up, she is going to land herself in a hole as big as the one she gave me. So, I hope she knows what is good for her, or we will both be out of the game

"tamata"

- WOW. Max is a completely naive idiot. I can out his career when I think I can't trust him, and if he tries to out me, I can say, "You are just saying that to save yourself." (laughing) Oh my god, the game has just begun, and I have power.

"tamata"

- Hazel better be careful, or she is out.

"tamata"

- Max is screwed if he tries to mess with me.

)Day #2
Simini/Man Tribe

(The show reopens on Simini's flag. The camera zooms in onto everyone except Joseph continuing to work on the shelter.)

Joseph: I think I've almost got fire. (uses glasses to direct sunlight onto coconut husks.)

Coley: Just work on it later and help on the shelter.

Joseph: Dude, fire is pretty important.

Coley: (mocking voice) ''Dude, fire is pretty important. ''(normal voice) So is shelter! You want to sleep on the ground, dumbs***?

Joseph: What the hell, dude? Fire is as important as shelter. Leave me the f*** alone!

Lily: Guys, why don't you two just seperate?

Coley: Shut it, grandma!

(Lily tenses, turns on her heel and walks away. Zeke takes Coley's arm and walks away with him.)

Zeke: Come on, bro. Let's just take a walk down the beach.

Debrah: Lily, come back!

(Debrah goes to get Lily, who has walked into the forest. Joseph keeps his eyes on the fire and doesn't look up. Joanne, Lesli, Arnold, and Amanda all share an exasperated look.)

"simini"

- Ok, what is Coley's problem? Joseph was just trying to make fire for the tribe, and Coley had to blow him up. I don't like guys that like, so i will do all in my power to send his as* home!

Arnold: (directed at Lesli, Amanda, Joanne, and Joseph) I don't know about you, but I am completely willing to vote that sh**bag out of this game.

Lesli: Agreed.

Joanne: You've got my vote.

Amanda: Hmm, I don't know. He is annoying, but he could be helpful in challenges.

Joseph: And Lily's a senator.

(The people in earshot go pale.)

Lesli: ......WHAT?!??!

Joanne: I second that.

Joseph: She's a senator in Nevada, but she came to my camp to give the kids autographs.

(Everyone still sits in shock.)

"simini"

- Silly little Joseph. If he had kept that info a secret, he might have had an extra ally. Now, he's just pinned a target on Lily. If he is trying to use her as a human shield, unless he has an idol, she will only save him from one tribal. Then he is vulnerable to votes again.

Voting Confessionals

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Final Words

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Still in the Running

 * This is a chart stating who is still in the game, and who is not. To denote the eliminated contestants, surround the player's name with name . You can also upload a grayscaled version of his/her image, but you must still put the strike tag.

Next Time on Survivor...

 * What's gonna happen at the next episode?

Author's Notes
Pre Challenge Polls(will be edited down after challenge)

Who is the safest from being voted out? Amber Andrew Derek Hazel Johnny Lydia Max Samantha Taylor Amanda Arnold Coley Debrah Joanne Joseph Lesli Lily Zeke Who is probably going to be first voted out? Amber Andrew Derek Hazel Johnny Lydia Max Samantha Taylor Amanda Arnold Coley Debrah Joanne Joseph Lesli Lily Zeke