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Name (Age): Elvin Steinhoff (23)

Hometown: Jefferson City, Missouri

Occupation: Stand-Up Comedian

Personal Claim to Fame: My jokes! I’m only 23, yet I’ve already been invited to perform at comedy shows across the country, and even the Just for Laughs Festival in Canada. I’m the funniest guy I know for sure, and it won’t be long before people across the country look to me as one of the greatest comedians ever to have graced the planet. If you disagree with me, then I suggest you shut up because the world does not need to be poisoned with your incorrect opinion. I mean, if you don’t think I’m one of the funniest comedians ever, then you probably haven’t seen one of my shows anyway, so you got no room to talk.

Inspiration in Life: Myself and only myself. When you’re as awesome, and successful, and handsome, and talented as I am, there’s no need to look anywhere else for inspiration. Heck, other so-called “celebrities” even understand my greatness! When Seth Rollins took that blonde streak out of his hair a few years ago, he had to have done it because he knew someone like me was going to come along and do that style better than he ever could. That’s just the kind of influence my greatness has over people, even ones I haven’t met and don’t care to ever meet!

Hobbies: Telling jokes; working out; hanging with friends; partying; traveling; admiring myself in the mirror; playing soccer.

Pet Peeves: Ignorant people and their incorrect opinions. Like honestly, if you don’t know what you’re talking about, you should just not open your mouth at all. I also can’t stand overly religious people. Like, people can believe what they wanna believe, but I’m an atheist, so don’t come shoving any of that Jesus or Allah bull-crap in my face, okay? Good.

3 Words to Describe You: Talented, handsome, charming

SURVIVOR Contestant You are Most Like: This is such a stupid question, because there is no past castaway that can even come close to matching my greatness! I’m my own unique person, and soon to be everyone’s favourite castaway and the greatest Sole Survivor of all time!

Reason for Competing on SURVIVOR: I’m a fan of the show and I wanted to get out and try something different. I’m used to living a pretty comfortable lifestyle, all things considered, and I want to prove to myself and to the world that I can excel in pretty much anything that I set my mind to.

Why You Believe You Will Become the SOLE SURVIVOR:''' I’m one of the most social, and charming, and athletic people you’ll ever meet, man! I can’t help it, I’m just one of those guys where all the girls want to be with me, and all the dudes want to be like me. You can call it “arrogant” all you like, but the fact is, I got the skills to back up everything I say! At the start of the game, I’m definitely going to flirt with the girls in order to make sure I get in the good graces of at least half the tribe off the bat. Now that I think about it, even though I’m totally straight, I’m comfortable enough with myself that I wouldn’t even mind flirting with a dude if I thought it could benefit my game. From there, I just know that people are going to underestimate me strategically, so I’ll be able to pull off amazing moves and get myself to the end fairly easily. Once I’m in the finals, I’ll just charm the jury into giving me the million!'''

Additional Information (to allow me to know more about him/her): Elvin grew up with the proverbial silver spoon in his mouth, always getting anything he could ever want from rich parents that rarely said “No” to him. He has one older brother, Lyle, who is 6 years older than him (Lyle would be the one coming for the family visit if he makes it that far). When Elvin was a little kid (say 3-6 years old), if someone said “No” to him, he’d throw a temper tantrum, and if that didn’t work, he’d hold his breath until he got what he wanted, even to the point of turning his face blue sometimes. Even as an adult, Elvin is quite sassy and doesn’t take “No” for an answer. Despite his quote unquote “attitude problem” he is one of the most driven and competitive people you could ever meet because when he wants something, he will stop at absolutely nothing to get it, not caring whose toes he may step on, and you just know that Elvin wants the title of Sole Survivor and the million dollars.

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