Talk:Lara Cumbs/@comment-32574574-20170815143244

​Honest Profile: 

​If my tits aren't popping out everywhere I go, I'm probably not the Lara you're talking about. (Sorry John) I am undoubtedly the worst winner to ever exist on this wiki. *​extreme coughing​* I am the epitome of what you would expect from a hillbilly porn star. But I have a brain. I'm so smart, that I chose to wear a jacket, but nothing underneath it, so people would be forced to see my surgery enhanced bosom. If I wasn't already stereotypical enough, I compared myself to Parvati Shallow, in hopes that people would respect me. I am a fucking idiot.

My hair line is as on point as a Drunk Driver, and my social game is as existent as the chances of Survivor: Rosario Islands​ winning the award for "Best Ongoing Fanon".

I was the "Honey Boo-Boo's mother" of my high school. That means that I was extremely fat. Once I got bullied for my weight, I got extremely insecure and started coming bolemic and having little to no self-acceptance for myself. Because of my low self-esteem, I let a narcissistic twat make out with my and drown his lips over me. (Still a better love story than Twilight). I did not deserve to win this game, but in hindsight, nobody else on my tribe did either.

People are disgusted by the way I played this game, and believed the only reason I won was because boys wanted to continue their masturbatory fantasies about me as I got SKINNIER and SKINNIER. They're partially right, but I wanted to prove that redneck women could actually win the game. Not by being intelligent, but by being bitchy and considered as a goat for the majority of the game.

I reckon' people assume models are brainless, and I proved them to be right with the way I behave and the way I played this game. If you excuse me, you interrupted me having sexual activities with my father. Fuck off.