That's Not a Good Trait

That's Not a Good Trait is the second episode of patricotc's Survivor: Espana fanon series.

Challenges
Reward Challenge: Rescue Mission You will go out in pairs. You will go race through the area with your stretcher. At 4 different points are mannequins. You must put the mannequin on the stretcher, run back through the course, and put them on any of your tribe's unoccupied tables. Then you give the stretcher to the next pair, and they go. If at any time, a mannequin falls off the stretcher or otherwise touches the ground, your tribe will be disqualified, and the other tribe wins by default. Otherwise, the first tribe to bring back all 4 mannequins wins.

Immunity Challenge Jailbreak Five tribe members will be locked in their own little cage. Inside the cage will be several pieces of rope, and several sticks. You will use these to create a pole that you will use to grab a key. You will then unlock the door. Also locked in with you is a bag of puzzle pieces. You will then run these puzzle pieces over to the other 3 tribe members. Once they have all five bags, they will open the bags up, and start working on the puzzle.

Previously on Survivor
The tribes were informed that hidden immunity idols are no longer in play. Paul makes a tactical mistake by helping a member of the other tribe. At Ardilla, Paul messes up again by proposing to build the shelter in a flood zone. But Paul didn't ease up, forming an alliance with Willis and Raphael based solely on Julia's mouth. Over at Musaraña, the tribes were divided very early between workers and swimmers. But Ramon and Jack are not so sure if they want to go this way. And although both alliances are mostly platonic, for the swimmers, mostly is the key word. During the immunity challenge, the tribes were even throughout the bulk. But in the end, a rock in a tire led to Ardilla going to Tribal Council. Gina and Virginia had a bit of a squabble. But ultimately, that proved not to be enough to send Paul home. Seventeen are left. Who will be voted out tonight?

Night 3
Ardilla just came back from Tribal Council. On a stick in the middle of camp is their flint, as promised by Jeff.

Jeffery: Yay. Fire. Woo-hoo.

Confessional-Julia: Going into Tribal Council, I figured the vote was 6-3 in my favor. I had no idea that such a little scuffle would have such a dramatic impact on the game.

Raphael gets the fire going very quickly.

Confessional- Sue: Gina and Virginia were clearly affected by the argument. So now, the sad thing is, we have to hope that they stay bitter. Because if not, they could easily join Willis and Raph's side and force a rock draw.

Virginia (singing): Camptown ladies, sing this song. Do da do da.

Confessional-Raphael: Paul didn't seem surprised at tribal. So I'm wondering if he knew that he was going home.

The title sequence plays.

Day 4
Over at Musaraña, the division of Swimmers and Workers is clear, even though all 9 are technically workers in the literal sense.

Laura: Do you feel like there's 4 tribes doing all this work?

Danielle: I thought your punching a camel bit yesterday was a cover-up. Do you need me to call medical?

Laura: No. What I meant by...

Confessional-Laura: We clearly have a divided tribe. The female swimmers tend to do their tasks together. So do the male swimmers, actually. Then you have the workers, who has 2 common groups too. Joan and Elmo are one. Danielle and I are the other. It's interesting to me.

Susan and Ronda, however, are split from the men for a reason.

Susan: No. You're cuter.

Ronda: You're clearly cuter, what are you talking about?

Confessional-Susan: Ronda and I are kind of gathering firewood. Kind of flirting in a manner that would annoy the others. That sort of thing.

Susan: I can't wait to get back to camp. My arms are tired.

Ronda: Speaking of camp, you haven't told the others, have you?

Susan: No.

Ronda: Good. Don't.

Susan: Why can't I tell the others?

Ronda: People are threatened by that kind of thing. Remember Rob and Amber?

Susan: They did well.

Ronda: Exactly. Now every cute couple is a threat because of it.

Susan: Good point.

Confessional- Susan: Ronda has a good brain. That's one of the many reasons I love her. She remembered why super couples are a threat. I can't even remember what color my eyes are at this stage. So, yeah. I feel like she's an asset right now.

At Ardilla, Gina and Virginia are still not on good terms.

Gina: Watch it, asshole.

Virginia: Up yours, woman.

Confessional-Raphael: The fighters have basically been unapproachable since the argument. And it's been hard to gather one of them up for a meeting.

Willis: Hopefully, this silence thing ends soon.

Raphael: Yeah.

Confessional- Julia: Until this little spat happened, I've always been jealous of men and how quickly they are usually able to get over their arguments. But the longer this one lasts, the easier it is for me...

Willis: I'm going to go look for food.

Confessional- Julia: Because they could vote for each other again, and therefore my alliance just need to vote for one or the other. Then we're good.

Willis is searching for insects, and comes across a rock near a cliff.

Willis: Man, that's awesome.

Confessional-Willis: I came across this huge rock, and that was the most awesome thing I think I've seen these past four days. So I went in for a closer look.

Willis: Man, this is just weird. What's that?

What he saw was a moth.

Confessional- Willis: I thought I saw this little bitty package. So I went for it, thinking it may have been an advantage of some kind.

As he gets his hand in the area, it flies away.

Willis: Dammit.

Confessional-Willis: It turned out to be a moth. So I tried to remove my hand, and it just wouldn't budge.

Willis got his hand stuck between the rock and the cliff.

Willis: A little help?

A time lapse shows him yelling every so often. An hour and a half passes when it's realized that tribe members may not be coming. With a storm approaching, a producer makes the decision to free him so that he can get to shelter.

Willis: Man. Look at that arm.

His arm, rather understandably, is pretty ugly.

The storm passes in time for nightfall. The Survivor medical crew, however, was requested at Jeffery's concern.

Willis: How does it look?

Dr. Brendan Casey is there to evaluate via headlamps.

Dr. Casey: Well, it doesn't look too serious right now. However, I do want to evaluate again before the challenge tomorrow.

Confessional- Willis: Hopefully, I won't have to go home over this. But I'm not sure of that.

Before the Challenge
Sue is cooking rice when Jeffery comes over.

Jeffery: Hey, Sue. I want to talk to you when you get a chance about the game.

Sue: Obviously, I'm busy right now. But maybe after breakfast we could get tree mail together. Is that alright?

Jeffery: Works for me.

Confessional-Jeffery: Ultimately, you have to think about what's best for the game. I'm only seeing 2 sides, and one is a side of intelligence. The librarian in me likes that.

On the way to tree mail, a conversation ensues.

Jeffery: So, I want to join your alliance with Julia and Larry. You okay with that?

Sue: I'm fine with that. You seem like a decent guy. But you'll have to take it up with the others as well.

Jeffery: Alright.

Confessional-Sue: Jeffery seems like a nice guy. But you can't trust anyone in this game. So only time will tell if he's loyal or not. But I'm willing to put my money on it.

Speaking of Julia and Larry, they are scrubbing their skin in the river.

Julia: Who do we think we should go for.

Larry: Between Gina and Virginia?

Julia: Yeah.

Larry: Probably Gina. Don't want to risk her falling at her age.

Julia: Wasn't thinking about it that way.

Confessional-Larry: I'm looking towards the bank, and I see Jeffery reading the tree mail. And I'm just thinking to myself, ''he helped us last time. Maybe we should let him in on what we're doing. Then I thought, Oh, shoot. He has the tree mail. Maybe we should listen in.''

We will get around to that. But I want to go to Musaraña first. The male Swimmers are getting into a discussion about strategy.

Matthew: So, let's say we miss this next immunity challenge. Who would we go for?

Ramon: Well, personally, I'd go for Elmo. Seems like he would slow us down too much.

Jack: Then you have Danielle. She comes off as a brilliant strategist. Hate to have her go far.

Matthew: A case could be made for Laura, too. She seems overconfident. Could get us in trouble later.

Confessional- Ramon: It's safe to say that we have no idea what we're doing. For a majority alliance, that's not a good trait.

Jack: And then you have Joan, who has no understandable reason to be worried. That makes her a threat.

Matthew: True, but that's also a reason to justify her going later. Wait and see first.

Confessional- Jack: We have 3 ways we could go. Basically, all the workers except for Joan. That makes you feel odd...

Ramon: Tell you what. Let's talk to the girls about this. Maybe they have some insight.

Matthew: True.

Confessional- Jack: ...until you realize that two members of our alliance are gone. Then you just feel stupid.

The Reward Challenge
The challenge site showed a medical tent. The tribes weren't shocked by this, however. Given that tree mail told them to build a stretcher, they pretty much knew it was Rescue Mission.

Probst: COME ON IN, GUYS!

As the tribes are walking in, Willis gets to thinking.

Confessional- Willis: I looked at the medical tent, and remembered that they wanted to evaluate my arm before the challenge. That didn't help.

Probst: Musaraña getting their first look at the new Ardilla tribe. Paul voted out at the last tribal council.

As Musaraña hasn't had a good chance to get to know Ardilla very well, not a lot of reaction occurred.

Probst: Musaraña, to catch you up, there is a little bit of irony to this medical tent. Willis, you sustained some arm damage. Medical wanted to look at that again before the challenge. Am I remembering all this correctly?

Willis: Yes you are.

Probst: Alright. Medical?

As Dr. Brendan comes out, Danielle whispers into Jack's ear.

Danielle: How bad is it?

Jack, an operating room technician, gives her some idea.

Jack: Imagine taking blood pressure tests repeatedly for four hours. That's how bad it is.

Over at the bench, Dr. Brendan is taking his check up with Willis.

Probst: How bad is it?

Dr. Casey: It's somewhat better than it was last night. That's for sure. However, I do want him to sit out this challenge. Just to be safe.

Probst: Alright. Willis, stay where you are. Everybody else, are you ready to get to today's challenge?

A unanimous yes comes from the tribes.

Probst: For today's challenge you will go out in pairs. You will go race through the area with your stretcher. At 4 different points are mannequins. You must put the mannequin on the stretcher, run back through the course, and put them on any of your tribe's unoccupied tables. Then you give the stretcher to the next pair, and they go. If at any time, a mannequin falls off the stretcher or otherwise touches the ground, your tribe will be disqualified, and the other tribe wins by default. Otherwise, the first tribe to bring back all 4 mannequins wins reward. Do you want to know what you're playing for?

That was a unanimous yes. So Jeff uncovered the reward.

Probst: Winning tribe gets fishing gear. You have nets, hooks, spears, line. Even a snorkeling mask and tube. Worth playing for?

Another unanimous yes.

Probst: Ardilla, because Willis has to sit this one out, one person on your tribe will go out twice. Who is it going to be?

Jeffery: I'll go, Jeff.

Probst: Alright. Jeffery's going twice. Musaraña, because of that, you only have one extra member. You're sitting someone out. Who is it going to be?

Elmo: My feet are asleep, anyhow. I might as well.

Probst: Fair enough. Willis and Elmo are sitting this challenge out. Jeffery is going twice in this challenge. I'll give you a minute to strategize. We'll get started.

A couple of mannequin shots later, we're ready for action.

Probst: Here we go. For reward. Survivors ready? Go! Danielle and Joan out first for Musaraña, while Jeffery and Julia up first for Ardilla. Ardilla with the early lead. Ardilla makes it to their first mannequin. Musaraña not far behind. Ardilla heading back. Musaraña heading back. You got to get those mannequins on the table, then pass the stretcher to the next group. Go Ardilla! Go Musaraña! Gina and Sue now out for Ardilla. Jack and Ronda now out for Musaraña. Musaraña now closing the gap as both tribes approach their second mannequin.

Sue loses her footing a little, but is okay.

Probst: Musaraña is coming back first. They have the lead now. Ardilla is heading back with their second mannequin. Musaraña is back. Go Musaraña! Matthew and Laura out for Musaraña.

Just then, rain starts to fall.

Probst: Ardilla is back. Go Ardilla! Larry and Virginia now out for Ardilla. Musaraña now has their third mannequin and is heading back. Be careful, guys! Ardilla has their third mannequin. Musaraña is back. Go Musaraña! Susan and Ramon are anchoring for Musaraña. Ardilla is back. Go Ardilla! Jeffery is going back, taking Raphael with him. Musaraña is headed back with their final mannequin. Can Ardilla catch up? Musaraña is back. MUSARAÑA WINS REWARD!

Jeffery is visibly disappointed in the results. Meanwhile, the Musaraña tribe celebrates with some hooting and hollering. After they settled down, we're back to those rigid and unbearing traditions.

Probst: Musaraña, come grab your fishing gear. Head back to camp. Enjoy.

Susan: Will do.

Probst: Ardilla. I have nothing for you. Grab your stuff, head back to camp.

Confessional- Gina: Looking back on the challenge, my physical ability to perform clearly didn't help us out. So I'm not doing all that great now. But on the other hand, maybe I can use that later on to my advantage come merge time.

After the Challenge
Later that day, Joan and Elmo decide that they ought to put the tribe's new fishing gear to use.

Joan: Not sure how I feel about the whole other tribe communication area twist.

Elmo: I just got to thinking, actually. This is a river. It provides fresh water. So what do we need the well for?

Joan: That is a good point.

Confessional-Elmo: I'm sitting on the river bank. I was hoping to get a bite. Then Joan starts talking.

Joan: Do you have a family?

Elmo: Yeah. Been married for 28 years to this beauty.

Elmo pulls out his luxury item, a photo of his family. In addition to his wife, 3 of his 4 kids are also in the photo.

Confessional-Elmo: My family has always had my back, no matter the challenges we faced. Unemployment. Illness. We've all been there for each other. And I brought this photo along top remind myself that, no matter what, they're always going to be there for me.

Elmo- That's my wife, Lucy. Three of our kids. Cameron, Elizabeth, and George. There's one other, but Dominic wasn't born yet when this photo was taken.

Joan: Yeah.

Confessional-Joan: Seeing this side of Elmo reminded me that this is more than just a game to all 18 of us. Their family may be depending on doing well out here. So that's going to make every Tribal Council session tougher.

We go over to Ardilla, where Raphael is not feeling confident about the numbers.

Raphael: Willis, our best bet is to sit Virginia and Gina down, and try to resolve this problem.

Willis: Hate to say it, but I think you're right.

Confessional-Raphael: I'm not sure if Jeffery is in the alliance or not. But if so, they may vote out one of the two just to guarantee safety.

Virginia walks by Gina, carrying wood.

Virginia: Ignore the trolls, like you were taught, Virginia.

Gina's reply was censored.

Confessional-Raphael: If these 2 aren't getting along, then the other alliance could just vote for one of them. Since they'll vote for each other, that means that they'll have 5, which would be enough to vote them out. Then we'll be down to seven, causing them to have the 4 needed for a majority alliance.

Willis: Hopefully, they'll be approachable tomorrow.

Raphael: Yeah.

Night 5 came about. Susan and Ronda were further upstream from camp, laying beside each other.

Ronda: The river looks so pretty.

Susan: Yeah.

Confessional-Ronda: Having a relationship while competing on Survivor is tough. Because you can't tell anyone about it for fear of being a threat. But then you are badly wanting to be with them. So you have to be creative.

Susan starts gently singing a song you may be familiar with.

Susan: Because when the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's amore.

Confessional-Susan: You try to do some of the camp work together. You sneak out when everyone is asleep. That kind of thing. It gets to you.

The couple starts kissing each other. And although they didn't go any further, the commercial break was timed in a way that implied that they did.

Immunity Challenge
The jailbreak challenge set is ready to go. Cells and bags.

Probst: COME ON IN, GUYS!

The castaways approach the challenge site, and take their spots on the mat.

Probst: Willis, your arm is looking better.

Willis: It's part of what makes me sexy, so I've been taking care of it.

Probst: Well, you're not going to be putting too much stress on it today. But I'll get to that later. First things first. Musaraña, I'll take it back.

Jeff grabs the idol from Matthew. Jeff does all the walking in this transaction.

Probst: Thank you. Once again, immunity is back up for grabs. For today's challenge, 5 tribe members will be locked in their own little cage. Inside the cage will be several pieces of rope, and several sticks. You will use these to create a pole that you will use to grab a key. You will then unlock the door.

The dream team shots show that the key is on a stake directly across from the cage. You probably figured that out already, but just in case.

Probst: Also locked in with you is a bag of puzzle pieces. You will then run these puzzle pieces over to the other 3 tribe members. Once they have all five bags, they will open the bags up, and start working on the puzzle. First tribe to get it right wins immunity and will be safe from tonight's vote. Losers, tribal council where someone will be the second person voted out of this game.

The dream team shots also show that the puzzle is of Pablo Picasso's Garçon À La Pipe.

Probst: Musaraña, Elmo sat out last time. You cannot sit the same person out in back to back challenges. So, with that in mind, who's it gonna be?

Ronda: I'll sit out.

Probst: Alright. Ronda, have a seat on the bench. Everybody else, I'll give you a minute to strategize. We'll get started.

After the strategy period, the tribes get set.

Probst: Alright. In the cages for Ardilla are Julia, Raphael, Larry, Sue, and Gina. For Musaraña, it is Jack, Susan, Elmo, Matthew, and Laura. For immunity. Survivors ready? Go!

The cagers start scrambling for their sticks.

Probst: In my experience with this challenge, I've noticed that you can't call a longer stick a lead, because it may be too weak to get the key. Therefore, my only clue of progress to you is if they are going to go for the key or not. Gina is going to go for it. Very quickly, she has the key. But can she bring it back? Yes. Gina is free. Ardilla has their first bag of puzzle pieces.

This proves to be a good source of momentum for Ardilla.

Probst: A lot of people still tying knots to sticks. Raphael and Julia both going for their keys. Raphael connects. As he starts bringing it back, Julia connects. Raphael is free. Ardilla with their second bag. Julia is free. Ardilla with their third bag. Now Susan is going to go for it. She's short.

15 minutes pass.

Probst: Now Laura is going to go for it. She's short. Susan going to try again. She connects. But as she starts to bring it back, the pole breaks. That's going to make it tougher to get the key. Sue is going to go for it. She connects. Let's test this pole out. Laura is going for her key. She connects. Sue is free. Ardilla with their 4th bag. Laura is free. Musaraña with their first bag. Larry going for it. He's taken his time this far. But he connects. Now to bring it back. He's free. Ardilla with their 5th and final bag. Start working on the puzzle.

The puzzle solvers for Ardilla waste no time in getting started. The scene alternates between them and the jailbreak.

Probst: Willis, Jeffery, and Virginia are on the puzzle for Ardilla. Susan is going to try again. She connects. The pole breaks again, but Susan can reach the key this time. Susan is free. Musaraña with their second bag.

Willis: Jeff?

Probst: Ardilla thinks they have it.

It looks like Garçon to me.

Probst: They do! ARDILLA WINS IMMUNITY! SAFE FROM TONIGHT'S TRIBAL COUNCIL!

The Ardilla tribe celebrates while Ronda, Susan, and Jeff frees the remaining Musaraña members. After the wipe, the usual yadda yadda.

Probst: Ardilla, come get the idol. Head back to camp.

On the way out, Jeffery takes the idol, and kisses the Virgin Mary statue.

Probst: Musaraña, Tribal council for you tonight. One of you will be going home tonight. You'll have the rest of the afternoon to think about it. Grab your stuff. Head back to camp.

Final Scramble
As the final scramble before Tribal Council occurs, we'll join the workers first.

Danielle: There's no way it's not one of us.

Laura: So should we begin our pleas why we should stay?

Elmo: Well, there is another idea.

Danielle: What is that?

Elmo: We could go to the well. See if an Ardilla member has any sort of an idea as to who could crack.

Joan: Maybe.

Over at the well, Willis is getting some water to treat his arm with as Elmo approaches.

Elmo: Hey.

Willis: Sup.

Elmo: I'm in a bit of a pickle. Can you help?

Willis: Depends on the pickle.

Confessional-Elmo: I start telling Willis about our situation, going as far back as the difference between the workers and the swimmers. The purpose of this was to see if he had any information.

Willis: Well, it seems to me that Ronda has a bit of a secret.

Elmo: Really?

Willis: Yep. I believe that she is a lesbian.

Elmo: Awesome. Thanks.

Elmo runs back to camp. But Willis wasn't done.

Willis: Hey, wait!

His attempt, however, was to no avail.

Confessional-Willis: Based on some things I've seen at challenges, I was going to mention that I think she was dating Susan. But it may just be me speculating. So I'm glad I ultimately didn't. But now I'm concerned that he's going to make an ass out of himself.

Elmo tracks down Ronda.

Elmo: Listen up, woman. I know your secret. And unless you want me to spill the beans, you will vote for Jack tonight.

Ronda was visibly concerned about this.

Confessional-Elmo: I figured that there's nothing wrong with good old American blackmail. So I threatened to expose her little lesbian lifestyle. Maybe the girls will see that she is a danger to their safety. Then I'll vote for her to say that I'm on their side. If she leaning Jack's way, then I'll stay quiet. Our alliance will have already been voting Jack's way, so he's gone.

Confessional- Ronda: I'm concerned that he may expose Susan and I as a couple. So I going to do everything in my power to stop him. Including getting him out of this game.

So Ronda heads out to Susan, who is spear fishing. She taps her on the foot to indicate that they need to talk. They swim to the surface.

Susan: Hey, sweetly. So brief rundown, we still don't know how we're going. We want Jack to decide. He will indicate by a code word at Tribal.

Confessional-Jack: I established some corny code words. Donkey for Danielle, Elephant for Elmo, Jaguar for Joan, and Lion for Laura. I couldn't think of possible stories to tell at Tribal without animals in them. Or an exotic one that started with the letter D.

Susan: Donkey for Danielle, Elephant for Elmo...

Ronda: Elephant. We need elephant out.

Susan: Why?

Ronda: He threatened to expose our relationship.

Susan: Oh, that's why. Let's tell the others it's because of the challenge slowdown.

Ronda: Alright. I'll take care of it. You can go back to fishing.

Susan dives back down while Ronda goes to the guys.

Ronda: I was thinking about the vote tonight. Elmo is just going to slow us down even further. His performance wasn't the best at the challenge. Maybe we should get him out.

Matthew: Yeah, but then you have to...

Jack: Hang on, Matt. One of us actually had a clue what they want to do. That's better than what we've been doing. I'm willing to just go with it.

Matthew: Alright. Someone should tell Susan, though.

Ronda: I talked to her already. She's fine with it if it's fine with the alliance.

Matthew: Alright.

As Musaraña heads out to Tribal Council, Matthew contemplated the idea.

Confessional- Matthew: I'm don't know if Ronda is sure about this whole plan. But we have one now. And that's better than nothing. So, I'm just hoping that it doesn't crash and burn.

Tribal Council
As Musaraña arrived at Tribal Council, Jeff gives his usual spiel that we all know and love.

Probst: Behind each of you is a torch. Go ahead and dip it in the flame. Get fire. This is part of the ritual of Tribal Council, because in this game fire represents life. Once your fire's gone, so are you.

The castaways light their torches and take a seat.

Probst: Danielle, have you noticed any specific relationships within the tribe?

Danielle: Yes. Four actually. Me and Laura are one. Elmo and Joan are another. We also have Ronda and Susan. Finally, Matthew, Ramon, and Jack.

Probst: Susan, do you have the same thought process?

Susan: No, I think it's more of a difference between workers and swimmers. The first two groups that Danielle mentioned being the workers, and the other two being the swimmers.

Jack: I'll admit that Danielle pointed out subgroups within the main groups, but ultimately I think that the subgroups are more interest based rather than strategy.

Probst: Ronda, do you agree with Jack's findings?

Ronda: Yes. Ultimately, Susan and I are more interested in art than the guys are. So we are more apt to break off and talk about that. But the 5 of us still form the basis of an alliance.

Probst: What about you, Joan? Do you agree with the subgroups logic Joan: Yes. And Ronda's reason may be true for the swimmers. But with the workers, it's more along the lines of having bonded on Day 1. Because Elmo and I were on shelter, whereas Laura and Danielle were on water. The subgroups bonded right there. The main group bonded out of need for an alliance, and the swimmers already were one.

Probst: Let's move to the immunity challenge.

Elmo: Oh, God.

Probst: Which Elmo is clearly not looking forward to. Tell us why.

Elmo: Look, it was tight in that cage. We didn't have a whole lot of room to work with. So, naturally, I wasn't at peak condition.

Susan: Ultimately, though, we all faced the same conditions. And I got out fine. So did Laura. So did all 5 of Ardilla's cagers, one of whom was 73. It's not like that claustrophobia couldn't have been overcome.

Probst: Alright, it is time to vote. Susan, you're up.

Elmo begins whispering to Matthew.

Elmo (captioned): If you care about this tribe, you'll vote out Ronda. She's too untrustworthy.

Susan writes down her unshown vote. Afterwards, Matthew gets to thinking.

Ronda (for Elmo): Blackmail is bull. And I've had enough steak for a while.

Joan (for Ronda): I don't know what this last minute change is about, but I don't care. We need the safety. Hopefully, he convinced Matthew.

Matthew (vote not shown): We can afford to be untrustworthy this early in the game. But not that much. It's time for you to go.

Laura takes her seat, and we begin.

Probst: I'll go tally the votes.

Jack was hoping for a miracle. Elmo was starring at the fire.

Probst: Once the votes are read, the decision is final. Person voted out will be asked to leave the Tribal Council area immediately. I'll read the votes. Probst. First vote: Ronda. Elmo. Ronda. Two votes Ronda, one vote Elmo. Elmo. Two votes Elmo Ronda. Three votes Ronda, two votes Elmo. Elmo. Tied again. Three votes Ronda, three votes Elmo. Ronda. Elmo. We're tied again. Four votes Ronda, four votes Elmo, one vote left. Second person voted out of Survivor: Espana. Elmo. That's 5. That's enough. You need to bring me your torch.

Elmo walks up to the podium.

Probst: Elmo, the tribe has spoken.

Elmo leaves as soon as the snuffer is applied.

Probst: Well, it is clear tonight that a majority alliance is present. The question is, what will they do with it Grab your torches, head back to camp. Good night.

Voting Confessionals
Susan (for Elmo): You do not hurt my girl like that. Go yourself.

Jack (for Elmo): Thanks for the idea, Ronda. I was having trouble coming up with a story.

Ramon (For Elmo): Man, this plan sucks. I was hoping to vote for Danielle. But, I need to stick with my alliance, so...

Danielle (for Ronda): Last minute change. I'm sorry.

Elmo (For Ronda): Go a man sometime.

Laura (for Ronda): Right now, you seem like the weakest link. I'm sorry.

Final Words
Confessional-Elmo: This is not a very good game for straight white men. Because, ultimately, the women have flirting power. The gay men get the respect for being "courageous." The The minority men get looked over for being a minority. What do we have? I don't know, but whatever it is, these lib-tards that they let play don't like it.

Next Time on Survivor...
Gina and Virginia make up for their dispute.

Gina: Let's just let bygones be bygones.

Virginia: Alright

And the immunity challenge proves to be a nail biter.

Jack: Who won, Jeff?

Probst: I'll tell you when I find out.

Author's Notes

 * The episode was titled after a comment by Ramon, who was talking about how the Swimmers had no idea how they plan to vote.
 * Jack's comment about receiving blood pressure tests for 4 hours straight was a reference to my tonsillectomy at age 9. They decided that there was a need to take my blood pressure throughout the surgery, and my arm was really terrible looking after that.
 * Originally, Elmo was supposed to oust Ronda as a lesbian, then go on a homophobic rant which couldn't legally be aired, only to be voted out 8-1. However, after similar situation occurred in Survivor: Game Changers, I decided to edit the ending out of respect for Zeke Smith and Jeff Varner.